Showing posts with label Ron Williams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ron Williams. Show all posts

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Another Hephzibah House Abuse Story

On January 8, 2012, I wrote a blog post titled, Tim Dunkin's Hephzibah House Faux Pas, in response to a terrible article by Dunkin himself.  It was, and still is, one of the most read post on Incongruous Circumspection. 

In that post, you'll find links to other first-person survivors of the extreme HH abuse stories, as well as a robust conversation in the comments when one Lucinda, a staunch defender of HH, begins to attack those who are telling their stories.  

Today, one of the commenters posted the following anecdote, in response to Lucinda's claims that abuse simply did not happen at HH.  I have edited out some personal religious opinions for the purpose of this post, but feel free to read the comment in it's entirety.

Are you serious? Ok, so let me get this straight Lucinda. When I was there, I followed their rules to the letter. Always had my [Bible] verses memorized, always completed chores quickly and thoroughly, never mouthed off or argued. 
My one "crime' was that one night I wet the bed because they would not allow me to go to the bathroom. The incident was extremely embarrassing for me, and having to tell them in front of all the other girls, even more so. So they put me in diapers and made it a point to tell all the other girls how nasty I was. Of course this further humiliation and stress added to the fact that they would refuse to let me go to bathroom when I clearly needed to only made things worse. 
There was also the isolation.....speaking partners? Yeah....mine left the week after I got there and for the next 8 months I was not allowed to speak to a single other person there other than staff. I got one phone call with my family the entire time I was there. Once I accidentally made eye contact with another girl. Since that was considered "communication" I was punished by not getting dinner. On top of that I was stood up in front of the entire school and raked over the coals by Naomi, who told me how worthless I was, and that I was possessed by demons and the my parents would never love me because I was so rebellious. 
Yeah, rebellious.....because they forced me to drink more liquid then (sic) I could hold and then refused to let me go to the bathroom. Once when [we] were standing in line waiting for bathroom break, Naomi spotted a drop of water on the floor. It was immediately blamed on me......the fact that I hadn't had an accident was irrelevant, they were convinced I had somehow peed one drop on the floor and so as a punishment I had to scrub the brick floor of the entire building. Alone. and of course on hands and knees. My knees were bruised and blistered for days, but of course they didn't care. 
And all the while, while they were telling my family I was rebellious and disrespectful and refused to follow the rules....outright lies. 
Once while getting ready for church, I didn't move away from the mirror in the dorm fast enough to please Naomi so she grabbed me by the back of my dress and literally threw me down on the floor, But that was also my fault because that extra .5 seconds I was standing there was rebellion. So eventually, they told my parents that I was demon possessed and a hopeless case, that I would never change and they kicked me out. 
The day I left I got called to William's office. I was lectured sternly on what a horrible, wicked person I was and that he prayed that God would save my soul from the fires of hell, but he feared it was too late for me. I was then laid down on the floor and spanked. And by spanked I mean beat so hard and so many strikes that my buttocks were bleeding. Literally bleeding. 
So now how about you go and argue that was NOT abuse. If you truly believe that then I feel for you because you are more brainwashed and ignorant then I ever imagined. 
Furthermore, not only did they blatantly lie to my parents about how I was behaving and that they had NOT spanked me, but my parents took out a load to pay for the full 15 months I was supposed to be there in advance. They never got a dime back. 
As for Patty William's, she was a bitter, angry, hateful woman who specialized in degrading others ( believe[d] calling us whore's (sic) and slut[s] and telling us how lazy we were while all 300 lbs of her perched on her balcony above us was her specialty) ... 
Oh did I mention that when I arrived home I was down to 101 lbs, from the 143 I was when I arrived there. I'm 5'9", so that is dangerously skinny. I also had a massive UTI from being forced to hold my urine for hours. 15 years later I still have nightmares about that place. So go ahead and keep deluding yourself. I feel for you, and pray that you will see the truth.

And that is why I write about this.  Hephzibah House is evil, is still in business, and the state of Indiana refuses to do anything about the alleged abuse.  Religious boarding schools flock to that state because of its complete lack of regulation over them.

Also, read about Ken Copley, the pastor that sexually abused his adopted daughter, and is now happily pastoring a church in Fort Wayne, IN. 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Tim Dunkin's Hephzibah House Faux Pas


I will begin this response to Tim Dunkin’s shoddy, one-sided, biased, opinion piece tossed around on a few corners of the internet with a disclaimer:  I am, and have been for years, very good friends with an attendee of Hephzibah House.  Having revealed this, I must add that I am writing this response not for her, but for a group of people much broader than this young woman – all those that have been victims of any kind of physical, mental, spiritual, or sexual abuse, of which I am a member.

You can reference the piece I am responding to here.

Tim Dunkin does not care about the truth.  He cares only about saving fundamentalism in America, as currently represented in this piece by the “man of God and the ministry God has called him to”, Pastor Ron Williams.  He states, “Truly, the saga of Hephzibah House is a blight and a stain upon the name of fundamentalism in America.”  He is not speaking of the allegations of abuse against HH in this statement.  Rather, he is lamenting the fact that someone has come against a fundamentalist ministry.


Tim Dunkin begins his opinion piece by listing some dangers of the internet.  He lists uncensored access (proving, as all good fundamentalists, that people’s lives need to be controlled), pornography, violent and sexually explicit videos, identity theft and hacking.  Then he equates that entire list to the accusers of HH posting on “unaccountable and anonymous” forums where they don’t have to worry about repercussions.


There is a large problem here.  Tim Dunkin is lying.  He takes great pains to maintain this lie throughout the piece in order to prove to the unfamiliar reader that those he represents (HH and those that support HH) are such victims of a coordinated attack that they need to be pitied.  Not just any coordinated attack, an anonymous one.  They are not anonymous!  These accusers of HH, who henceforth will be referred to as “survivors”, as they like to be called, have very publicly named themselves.


For instance, here is a link that lists many survivor stories, most of them by name:


And yet, even at the end of Tim Dunkin’s piece, he throws this lie against the wall, hoping it will stick. 


“Until the very one-sided presentation given on CNN, many of the "Hephzibah Haters" were hiding behind the "anonymous" label, or used pseudonymous "handles" on the various forums where they would go.”


First of all, Tim Dunkin loses a lot of credibility by coining the term “Hephzibah Haters” to refer to the survivors and even goes so far as to mock them over and over again, scornfully calling them “bleating lambs” and using all sorts of other hateful language toward individuals that have alleged abuse.  Second, you can go to CNN.com or Youtube.com and find the program on “Ungodly Discipline” and watch all the episodes for yourself.  You can see that several times CNN stated that HH would not talk to them, had no comment, or even during one surprise catch of Don Williams (current pastor of the church), Ron’s son, in a parking lot, refused to say anything except to answer in the negative that all allegations were false.  This is what is called reporting.  CNN did their due diligence in attempting to ascertain a comment and it was refused.  Then, they reported that fact.  Again, Tim Dunkin is caught in a lie.  And finally, those statements that you can read on the link I provided above were actually available long before CNN aired their program – with the names of the survivors above each statement.


There is something deeper to this allegation of Tim Dunkin’s though.  Tim expects ALL abuse victims to identify themselves before he will give them the time of day to explain their side of any story to him.  (He expects much more, which we will get into a bit later,  which makes Tim Dunkin a very dangerous man and one that, if you knew he was sitting on a jury of your peers, you would weep tears of anguish based on his biases toward certain preconceived notions of justice.)  It takes a lot for an abuse victim to come forward.  But Tim doesn’t care about that.

 
To Tim Dunkin, abuse is a numbers game.  He alleges that the survivor’s group stated that there are at least 120 victims and yet he counts only 28 statements on the survivor web site.  He considers the fact that since only 23% of the alleged survivors made a public statement, that that is proof that they are untrustworthy.  But, even if all 120 individuals had posted their statements on any site or even in court requested affidavits, Tim Dunkin had already discounted their validity.  He calls the survivor statements “unverified and unverifiable”.  How can one even begin to take both sides of any story when you consider a testimony “unverifiable”, let alone a testimony of one who has suffered abuse, which, in many instances, has only one perpetrator and no witnesses?


Ah, the subject of witnesses.  Here, Tim Dunkin goes off the rails.  He begins to quote the Bible and states that when a pastor is being accused, there needs to be two or three witnesses.  A pastor being accused!!?  In our common era, we don’t elevate people with titles, religious or not, when it comes to allegations of wrongdoing.  A pastor holds no more standing than a homeless person if they have been accused of doing something to ONE PERSON in a dark alley.  To require a certain number of witnesses for ANY act of abuse is to effectively muzzle most victims of it.  What’s more, nothing of the sort is found in the Bible anyway, speaking of witnesses with accusations against pastors.


But alas, a casual observer can now see a fatal flaw in Tim Dunkin’s argument here.  He claims that 28 individuals have provided testimony of abuse and then states that you only need two or three.  But, he is ready for you, oh high and mighty casual observer.  He redefines what a witness is in order to claim that the survivors are not true witnesses but merely…backbiters.  How does he do this?  By claiming the following:


“I think it should be obvious that anonymous internet posters passing around slander on a web forum under a "handle" are not "witnesses" by the contextually-understood meaning of the term.”


One problem.  We have already established that 28 people have provided testimony of their abuse and have documented it publicly.  They have named names, listed artifacts, given dates, narrated events in graphic detail, corroborated each other’s stories where other girls are named or listed, and even detailed rooms and paint colors.  Again, it was done publicly.  This is problematic for Tim.


Everything about the numbers game comes down to one simple fact.  IT ISN’T A NUMBERS GAME.  We don’t worry about percentages when someone is accused of a crime.  We don’t say, “Well, you are the only one that has come forward about allegations of abuse whereas we have files of hundreds of others that have been through the program and have not alleged a thing so, too bad!”  No.  I as a real human being require only ONE person.  Each and every one of these survivors is an individual.  They should not be lumped together in the minds of anyone, save to gather evidence and similar allegations to establish a case.  But when we are dealing with people, we must remember that it isn’t people we are dealing with; it is many individual persons that we care about.


But what about the “others”?  Surely, if Tim Dunkin is so wrapped up in how these survivors have lied (which he blatantly accuses them of many times throughout his vile piece), he would have ample documented, independent statements of what went on in HH and that the survivors are indeed making up a story, right?  Well, sort of and not really.


Tim Dunkin alludes to “many” that have come against the survivors (Tim mockingly refers to the survivors as being “few” in number to draw a contrast that isn’t there, nor is it provable).  He lists four “testimonies” that say good things about HH and even gives much space in his piece to a woman named Lucinda Pennington.  More about her in a bit.


When you read the four testimonies, you’ll notice a very curious thing.  Tim Dunkin, many times in the writing, states that the survivors are unaccountable and anonymous, using internet handles on various forums.  Oddly, the first pro-HH testimony Tim references, can be found on a forum called “The Fighting Fundamentalist”, posted by a user with the handle of “melaniej69”.  Nowhere in that testimony does it state her name or give anything close to the attention to detail that the survivor’s statements gave.  In fact, it is peppered with glowing accolades and Bible verses with a list of activities that is eerily similar to what is listed on Hephzibah House’s own website.  The other three testimonies cannot be found on the internet with a simple search and still don’t include names or other identifying information. So much for Tim Dunkin’s assertion that the “many” detractors to the HH survivors are on the up and up, posting publicly at every opportunity.  You’d think that for a guy who goes out of his way to accuse one group of flying under the radar, he would go to great lengths to contrast them with trustworthy and competent individuals.


Now to Lucinda Pennington.  I won’t spend much time on her because she can be found all over the internet.  She is a sort of rock star in the Independent Fundamental Baptist Church movement and even gave a eulogy at Patti Williams (Ron William’s wife) funeral.  She is very close with them and is hardly an independent observer.  Nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with calling upon her to refute the claims of the survivors.


The fact is, she corroborates them.  Maybe not in her book.  Maybe not in writing.  Maybe not in her  relationship with Tim Dunkin.  But, in full color, blatant as the noon day sun, on CNN.  Anderson Cooper, host of AC360 asked her if she had ever been abused at HH.  Her response was epic.  She detailed an abusive spanking episode where she was laid on the floor, a chair was placed over her back to hold her down and she was spanked.  Keep in mind; these are girls as young as 12 and as old as 18 that are subject to these abuses.  The interesting thing here is that the exact details that Lucinda spoke in defense of HH, the survivors spoke of in accusation.  This is key. 


Additionally, a commenter defending HH on Tim Dunkin’s HH piece at renewamerica.com detailed a list of abuses that matched exactly the abuses detailed in survivor statement.  Again, this is key.


We have a problem here.  Tim Dunkin’s poster-girl, Lucinda Pennington doesn’t know what abuse is.  She details it, but then says it wasn’t.  Same with this other commenter.  Can we then suspect that Tim Dunkin feels that it is perfectly acceptable to beat a young woman?  Does he think it is acceptable to force them to eat their remaining supper the next morning in addition to whatever breakfast they had to eat?  Does he think requiring them to keep a public chart of their bowel movements and menstrual cycles is not mental abuse?  Does Tim Dunkin actually believe that requiring the counting of underwear is not abuse? Or the public humiliation of requiring diapers to be worn on teenage girls when they peed during periods they were not allowed to go to the bathroom is not abuse?  I am merely listing what Lucinda and other commenters, spoke about in defense of HH, on Tim’s piece. 


The fact here is that Tim Dunkin doesn’t care if the abuse happened.  He thinks this sort of abuse is perfectly permissible.


Now, to the most egregious and curious accusation that Tim Dunkin sets forth – you have no business coming against a Christian pastor who has done such great things for the kingdom if you are not a fundamentalist and a Christian with good character.  The key here is that you must be a member of a certain group that Tim Dunkin validates in order for him to trust you.  If you are not, then anything you might say will be immediately suspect.  But it gets worse.  You can be a fundamentalist and have good character, but if you associate with any person outside of fundamentalism and a Christian with good character, you will also be discounted or called a liar.  This is a fact.  Tim Dunkin says so.  His words:


“Let's also consider the character of some of the main critics of Hephzibah House. Keep in mind, that all of what I'm about to say are things openly admitted by these people themselves, as they have indicated on these various forums. One of them is a practicing witch who follows occult practices, as well as having being involved in belly dancing and was a "sex worker" in her younger days. Another writes pornographic books (both homosexual and heterosexual), and even utilizes sexual innuendo in her comments on the "fundamental" forums that she posts to (comments which are, by the way, approved and laughed at by others on these "good Christian" forums). Another is an out and out drunkard. Yet another one is a lesbian who tried to run over some members of Hephzibah House's governing church with her car while there "protesting" with her "wife." Another couple (a former student and her husband) claim to be "good fundamental Baptists" but have openly stated that they have no problem with engaging in close fellowship with these others or having them influencing their children. Aiding and abetting the activities of these folks is a rabid atheist who has frankly stated that he wants to attack and destroy Christian ministries.”


Then he goes on to conclude:


“So, is all of this important? You bet it is. Not only are there simply some severe character issues with them, but even more, most of them have a vested interest in attacking fundamental Christian ministries. Some of them have said as much. They live lifestyles which are not only incompatible with Christianity, but whose practitioners are also, more often than not, antagonistic against Christianity. They have a positive interest in attacking ministries like Hephzibah House any way they can. They know that solid fundamental Christian ministries are their "enemies." They're open about that. People who stand for biblical principles will be disliked by them. A ministry whose purpose is to reform and salvage teenage girls from Christian homes will be hated by them. There is every reason in the world to think that these main "Hephzibah Haters" have their own agenda in attacking this ministry.”


There you have it.  All Tim Dunkin has to do as a juror is figure out who the accusers are, check their fundamentalist card, if it isn’t in good standing, declare them guilty.  Or, if that isn’t good enough, assume he knows everything about a person because they consider themselves a lesbian, not to mention his weird and unsubstantiated accusations of trying to run over someone at a protest.  What a resounding statement from a man who deems to hold the banner for renewing America.  I want nothing of his renewed America.  I want victory and justice for everyone who has been abused.


Finally, Tim Dunkin quickly speaks about the state of Indiana doing some sort of investigation of HH and exonerating them.  He doesn’t cite the case.  CNN asked every agency in Indiana that would have some sort of jurisdiction over HH.  They all declared that they didn’t, except one.  Indiana Child Protection Services said they would except that they would need a current complaint.  Just read through a few of the survivor statements and see how easy that would be.  Also, study what mental abuse does to its victims.  I know.  I am one.  But focus on the fact that there is no record of ANY investigation EVER being done on HH.  Ever.  In fact, one government official on the local news, on camera, stated this when asked if he thought it was wrong for someone to beat a young adult in the name of religion – “I don’t know.  I’ll have to check on that.”


I do know.  I don’t have to check.  Tim Dunkin is wrong.