If You're Gay, You Can't Be a Christian

Jennifer LeClaire, Editor of Charisma Magazine, recently wrote a low-key piece about NBA player, Jason Collins and his announcement that he was gay, in an interview with Sports Illustrated.

I don't really take issue with her approach.  She goes out of her way to praise him for his talents and heap admiration on his head for what she considers an integral member of any basketball team.  I also don't take issue with most of her beliefs.  She comes from a brand of Christianity that states that homosexuality is a sin and thus must be repented of.  Plenty of people believe this and still treat gay people very well.

What I DO have issue with is twofold.

1. Jennifer LeClaire is not saying that homosexuality is a sin.  She is actually saying that the fact that Jason Collins is a homosexual determines his genuine faith status.  Essentially, he is not a true Christian since he is gay.

2. Jennifer LeClaire refuses to believe that someone can be happy, or be without envy, fear, misery, living a lie, suicidal thoughts, etc. without Jesus Christ, whatever that means.  (Yes, I know what it means in jargon-speak, but what does it really mean?!)

Let's look at my first issue:

The Bible clearly states that only the god of it knows the heart.  Here, LeClaire is armchair umpiring from the cheap seats, acting as if she were that god, determining from afar, the spiritual condition (as if there was such a thing) of an individual, simply because he says that he is gay.  There is no room for his words that he follows the teachings of Jesus to be true.  In LeClaire's world, she gets to raise her index finger, wiggle it back and forth and yell, "Nuh uh!!!!".

No, according to LeClaire, a clear litmus test to being a Christian at all is the pure and unadulterated rejection of homosexuality.  The minute you claim homosexuality, it makes no difference how many children you save from abusive homes, tying millstones around their parent's necks and throwing them into the sea, it makes no difference how many poor and widowed you feed, clothe, and house, it makes no difference what you say the condition of your heart is, it makes absolutely not a lick of difference what your personal faith is to you.

Nay nay!  LeClaire knows!  You are cut off from Jesus Christ because you committed the cardinal sin above all cardinal sins - you gay, baby!  Nevermind that Christianity used to treat divorce like homosexuality and now embraces it, opting for support groups and coffee, rather than outright declarations of impending hell fire.  Nevermind that the Christian church used to...well...you get the point.  Let's move on to my second issue.

I'm an atheist.  Yes.  You know that.  I grew up in uber-fundamentalist Christianity.  The Bill Gothard, Doug Phillips, homeschooling, singing from a hymnal, rock music is of the devil, Jesus will heal you of all mental issues kind - under an abusive and mentally impaired, single Mama.  But I'm now an atheist.

And guess what!?  I'm happy.  I have envy at times, but I don't see it as a sin.  That's a stupid rule anyway.  I'm not fearful.  I fear my kids getting run over by a car and I fear my wife never wanting to make love to me again.  But again, having no fear is unrealistic and also a stupid rule.  I'm not miserable.  I am not living a lie.  I have no suicidal thoughts.

And I don't "have Jesus".

LeClaire, and many other Christians, have no idea how to deal with people who are happy with who they are - without Jesus.  They resort to that finger waving again, yelling, "Nuh uh!  You're deceived!  You just THINK you're happy!  But really....JESUS!!!!!"

But no.  I'm happy.  And I know some miserable Christians who would be the first to tell me that Jesus brings them happiness - living a lie.

This brings me to LeClaire's worst offense in this article.  She says that Collins' sigh of relief and freedom he feels from shedding his burden is a big lie.  According to LeClaire, he can't possibly be feeling anything remotely genuine because he doesn't follow her creed and fit her profile for the perfect, non-gay, Christian.

Finally, I will make an attempt at armchair umping.

Jason Collins is happy!!!!!  He says so himself.  And I think I'm satisfied with his declaration of mirthiness.

Daddy, I'm Scared You and Mommy Were Fighting

The car door slammed, the engine roared to life, the gears shifted, the tires crunched over the sand I missed while blowing off the driveway, the thud happened as the tires bounced into the gutter, the brakes squealed softly, the gears shifted again, the motor revved, and Mommy drove off to meet a friend for an evening walk.

I sat in the living room, the warm spring breeze lightly brushing past the right side of my face.  It was a bit chilly for this time of year and I tucked my feet up under me.

I heard footsteps on the stairs behind the massive door to my left.  

They were deliberate footsteps - a bit slow - but, nonetheless, they were purposeful.  The door handle turned and through the door came Laura, my nine-year-old little girl.  She was weeping.

"Daddy, who drove awaaaay," she wailed.

"Mommy did," I said, while letting out a chuckle.

"I'm scared.  I'm scared you were fighting.  We're you fighting?"

I giggled at her.

"No, Laura, we weren't.  Mommy went off into the sunset to go out with a friend.  Now go back to bed.  Love you."

One thing is for certain: I now know that everything I do affects at least one of my children acutely.  What a powerful incentive to love her mother.

Beat That Baby of Yours When He Throws a Fit

As Libby Anne, from Love Joy Feminism, says, I grew up in a Michael Pearl, child training, environment.  When your baby "throws a fit", you train it out of them by beating them.  Some may say that the word "beating" is too harsh a definition of what Michael Pearl advises, but, anything is a beating when you're hitting a baby when he's crying - because he's crying.

Michael Pearl is an idiot and displays it perfectly in his writings.  His "love" for children is a sick kind of love.  A love that can only be cashed in when they make his life bearable to be lived.  He may twist my words and call me a liar, but he really is the dishonest one.  

In this story, by Libby Anne, she relates how she watched as her son Bobby "threw a tantrum" after she took him out of a swing.  As I read the story, I thought about the many times I have taken my babies out of a swing or simply changed up their activity - for no other reason than I wanted to go sit on the park bench and do nothing.  When they inevitably communicated to me in the only way they knew how - through crying, sobbing, and thrashing - I would walk away and do whatever I wanted.

The fact is, life was about me and me alone.  I never really cared, then, about what my babies wanted. I was vindicated by the likes of Michael Pearl because I had a license to be what I wanted to be and no child was going to destroy my chance at happiness and peace.

But I loved them!

Sure.  

The fact is, if you have a child, you are not responsible for yourself anymore.  It is now your duty (hopefully your privilege) to feed, clothe, bathe, love, play with, and be there for that child until they fly the nest, through every stage of development.  Some days will be hard.  Hell, some YEARS will be hard.  But you are the closest thing they have to be able to learn about everything there is to know about life - through your eyes.

Don't teach them selfishness.

In reality, I am still preaching to myself, as I struggle from time to time with cleansing myself of viewing my children as distractions to my life.  They are not.  They depend on us.  Be there for them.