I'm sure everyone has seen that video of the wife "throwing a tantrum" because she wanted to go to the lake and her husband wanted to rotate his tires. Everyone seems to be concluding that the wife is a total douche.
While I find her reactions fascinating, cringe-worthy, causing me to wince with every other word and wail, I came away with a different reaction.
Throughout my twelve year marriage, I have had some ups and downs. We have, as a couple, as a family, and as single, individual units of humanity. Many things have been said, screamed, wept about, wailed about, cussed about, as well as every other form of communication, in private. Every once in a while, a third party has walked into an incensed discussion between my wife and I, resulting in an uncomfortable moment.
A few years back, I began yelling at the kids about something that they had done. Plenty of words came out of my mouth, including several "fucks". I really let loose this time, throwing a royal adult tantrum, which I do very well. Later, as always happens, I looked back over the incident and was very irritated by my reaction, remorseful about what I had done, and embarrassed by how I let myself get so worked up over something so silly.
It was made so much easier by the fact that Kristine had secretly videotaped the whole episode. In a calmer moment, she played it back to me. It was horrible. Sure, we laughed about it, I apologized for everything, and then we summarily deleted the evidence (I think... Maybe she's saving it for blackmail later).
But that's the thing. This was a private incident. Anyone who has been married or been in a relationship with another human being understands that things are done and said that would never see the light of day. Kristine and I do and say things to each other that we would never do or say to our friends. We can do it because we love each other unconditionally, and know that not everything that happens has meaning. While others would look in on our marriage and think, at those moments, that we are two horrible people, they have no idea about the twelve years of "knowing each other" that allows us to be relaxed and open with our feelings and actions with one another.
Thus, I conclude that this husband, the one who uploaded his wife's "tantrum" to YouTube, was a total dick. He should never have released this to the public. No matter what his wife's actions, I pity her with every bone in my body.
May her husband live to regret his actions, learn from them, and take action to heal this horrid breach to their relationship.
While I find her reactions fascinating, cringe-worthy, causing me to wince with every other word and wail, I came away with a different reaction.
Throughout my twelve year marriage, I have had some ups and downs. We have, as a couple, as a family, and as single, individual units of humanity. Many things have been said, screamed, wept about, wailed about, cussed about, as well as every other form of communication, in private. Every once in a while, a third party has walked into an incensed discussion between my wife and I, resulting in an uncomfortable moment.
A few years back, I began yelling at the kids about something that they had done. Plenty of words came out of my mouth, including several "fucks". I really let loose this time, throwing a royal adult tantrum, which I do very well. Later, as always happens, I looked back over the incident and was very irritated by my reaction, remorseful about what I had done, and embarrassed by how I let myself get so worked up over something so silly.
It was made so much easier by the fact that Kristine had secretly videotaped the whole episode. In a calmer moment, she played it back to me. It was horrible. Sure, we laughed about it, I apologized for everything, and then we summarily deleted the evidence (I think... Maybe she's saving it for blackmail later).
But that's the thing. This was a private incident. Anyone who has been married or been in a relationship with another human being understands that things are done and said that would never see the light of day. Kristine and I do and say things to each other that we would never do or say to our friends. We can do it because we love each other unconditionally, and know that not everything that happens has meaning. While others would look in on our marriage and think, at those moments, that we are two horrible people, they have no idea about the twelve years of "knowing each other" that allows us to be relaxed and open with our feelings and actions with one another.
Thus, I conclude that this husband, the one who uploaded his wife's "tantrum" to YouTube, was a total dick. He should never have released this to the public. No matter what his wife's actions, I pity her with every bone in my body.
May her husband live to regret his actions, learn from them, and take action to heal this horrid breach to their relationship.
Yeah, I tend to agree...only thing is that he partially did so to prove just how irrational and impossible living with his wife had become. Having a bit of irrefutable evidence comes in handy sometimes when you're trying to defend your actions and your side of the story.
ReplyDeleteWhich he could have saved just for the divorce court. Putting it on YouTube destroys her life, rather than encourages her to maybe get some help.
Deletehe also *laughed* and chuckled a few times during the video... not the typical response of someone who is so concerned he is going to take this to divorce court. But it IS the kind of response of someone who's going to use this as an anvil to hang over her head for as long as he can to always grab the moral high ground...
DeleteMaybe she became irrational and difficult to live with because he was such a jerk. Yea she was embarrassing, but take away her behavior and listen to what she says. It sounded like he never took his wife out or catered to her needs at all. The fact that he took this to the public just shows his lack of love for his wife and proves her point in my opinion.
DeleteI think both of them are a bit over the top. The way he was laughing made you wonder if he was getting charge off the interaction at times. I don't get her responses - yes like a toddler - either.
DeleteThe fact he decided to upload the video? Yes, it will tear at the relationship. It shows neither of them seem mature enough to handle things. She gripes to her facebook friends, and he uploads the interaction. WOW!
I just don't get that at all. Show it to your marriage counselor - not the world.
Omg, I had the same reaction. She had a fit, but he's a douchebag. He was on his best behavior because he knew he was taping it. Who knows how be would have behaved had he not known. And he put it online for all the world to see. Further, we have no idea what brought that woman to the breaking point. All we saw was her meltdown. And one last point - who died and made him king? Why is it up to him whether they go to the lake, stop for cigarettes, or get his stupid tires rotated (or whatever it was)? Because he's driving or because he's a controlling dick? Yes, I thought much less of him than of her after watching that. Becky
ReplyDeleteAdmittedly I haven't seen the tape but may I assume that we have no idea how long the lake trip had been planned? or if the husband could have rotated his tires another day?
ReplyDeleteHaving previously worked for a divorce lawyer, my guess is that the husband didn't videotape or didn't post all of the video that would show him winding her up to this point. He was obviously poking at her, poking a sore spot.
ReplyDeleteMy guess is that she had talked about going to the lake, he either didn't say anything or sort of agreed, then decided that he would get her good.
It's a sunny weekend; a perfect day to go to the lake. They're both in the vehicle when he announces that getting his tires rotated is too important and they can't go to the lake. He says this. He probably had been going on about this for a bit before the video starts. The wife, who was expecting to spend some fun time one the lake with her hubby, suddenly finds out he'd rather go to the tire shop than spend time with her.
If my spouse did that to me, I would feel horrible, and I'd probably be pretty wound up.
I've seen husbands and wives both do this. They get a kick out of pushing buttons, and out of making the other person feel like dirt on the sole of their shoe.
The wife may be immature, but the husband is definitely an ass.
that is her FUCKING karma! If you act this way all of the time, then blame it on your husband...you are only thinking of yourself, and the "tantrum" has to stop..spoiled kids when they are young..ends up acting like this woman!~ I am for the dude all the way!~
ReplyDelete