I Get Goog'ed: Clifford Porn Is Still All the Rage

Every. Single. Day, without fail, I get Googled for Clifford porn.  Today the term was:

red dog nude

I need to let my casual readers in on a little secret.  Once and for all, I am not part of this sordid subculture.  I have no interest in seeing a nude dog.  I thought they were always nude, anyway.  Even creepier are the Google hits where they are obviously looking for Emily Elizabeth in the nude.

Two things...

1. It's a bloody cartoon.

2. (offensive language ahead....) She's a FUCKING child!!!!!!

Now stop it.  Do NOT read my blog if that's what you're looking for.  I don't want you as a reader.  Go away.  Rest your sick beady eye balls somewhere else.  Get some help.  Put your kids up for adoption.  Tell your spouse about your problem.  You must stop ... NOW!

For all my other readers, I have written about Clifford.  I'm kind of an expert.

- Showing off my knowledge of doggie turds

- Sharing my expertise on Clifford's skin, following an interview with Emily Elizabeth

- Wherein I go all ape-shit on this sordid subculture - again...

Clifford is ALWAYS Nude

Ok.  To the person who arrived here by Googling:

"Clifford big red dog nude pics"

Dogs are always nude. Unless, of course, they wear those stupid knit sweaters in the middle of New York City or when they have million dollar tutus on inside some claustrophobic handbag meant for a rat the size of a five star restaurant meat ball.

Anyway, I haven't written much about Clifford naked.  I haven't written much about ANY dog naked, for that matter.  I simply thought it was a given.  At least it kinda is here, in the Midwest.

We don't shave our dogs to the skin, either.  Maybe that's what you wanted.  In that case, I have some confidential information that Emily Elizabeth has allowed me to share with you, oh Googler.

Clifford's skin is blue.

Now that you are more enlightened, here is what I wrote on Clifford, the Big Red Dog.

Happy Googling!