Frederic is Getting an Excellent Science Education

I heard whimpering and footsteps coming down the grand staircase.  Frederic (8) bounded through the living room doorway, looked around, and saw me laying on my stomach on the carpet, up on my elbows, typing away on my laptop.  He was carrying a cup of ice that he had been munching on.

"Daddy!" [whimpers] "I shrunk my tongue, eating this ice."

I tried valiantly not to giggle, covering my face with the inside of my elbow.

"Pray tell, Juaca Baby (that's Fred's nickname), how do you know you shrunk your tongue?!"

I buried my face further into my arm, trying desperately to hide my mirth.

"I used to be able to touch almost to my nose with my tongue and now I can only touch to here," Fred said, as he pointed to about halfway between his lips and nose.

"Show me, buddy."

He wound up his face muscles and tentatively stuck his tongue out - touching just beneath his nose.

"Oh.  I guess I didn't shrink it!"

Then Fred flashed one of his beautiful smiles, giggled, and bounded back up the stairs.

Felicity (6) walked over and saw me burying my face into my arm, pointed to me and laughed.

"Daddy is having sympathy pains.  He can't handle Freddie telling him about his tongue!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore, ripped my arm away, and laughed with her.

Felicity Failed Her Spelling Test Miserably

Last night, I was at Costco with the family, eating their $9.95 pizza, cinnamon and sugar churros, frozen yogurt, and Mountain Dew, when Felicity (6) announced that she didn't do so well on her spelling test.

Felicity: "Daddy, I got 6 on my spelling test."

Me (33): "Oh?  Out of how many?"

"I got 6."

"Okay.  So which three words did you get wrong?"

"I. Don't. Know."

"What?!  'I' is easy!  And so are the other two words!"

[Blank stare...]

"Renaya (11), can you tell Felic how to spell 'I'?"

Renaya laughed and spelled it quickly.

[Realization flashes across Felicity's face and she rolls her eyes, lets out an audible grunt, coupled with a jokingly frustrated sigh]

"DaddeeeeEE!"

Always an Obstructionist

I had to go into work today to complete an emergency project. Kristine was working, as well, so I drew the short straw to get all the kids.  As we were driving to the office, the kids begged for tunes.  I knew they wanted me to turn on a hit music station, but I didn't feel like it.  I elected for Classical Minnesota Public Radio, 99.5 FM.  As a score played, the following conversation ensued:

Felicity (6): "Hey guys!  This song is real."

Frederic (8), without skipping a beat: "No it's not!!!!"

Me (33): "Um...what does "this song is real" mean and why would you say "no it's not"?

I pestered the two with this question in several different ways because it seemed to confuse them quite thoroughly that they were being asked to explain themselves.

Felicity: "Um...I don't know.  I actually forgot."

Me: "Fred.  What does "real" mean and why did you disagree?  Felicity doesn't even know what it means."

Fred: "I don't know."

Just as I thought.  It didn't matter what Felicity said.  All that mattered, to Fred, was that there had to be a clear opposing position to any statement that she made.  He was ready, at a moment's notice, to disagree.

The boy has a job in politics.  I should start grooming him now.  

The Movie Brave Looks to be Awesome

For all of you who are itching to see Brave, here is your breaking scoop.  I interviewed Felicity (5) after she came back home from the theater.

Enjoy!