Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I Get Goog'ed!: Bill Gothard's Tampons

Today, some unlucky soul, with reverence in their heart, and worship on their lips, found Incongruous Circumspection while doing his due Berean diligence on Billy Boy G.  Their search term was:
Bill Gothard's tampons

I must say, I am not the expert on Billy Boy G., nor am I aware of his tampon use.  But, I think you might be onto something.  Tampons are super-absorbent and he has noted to the masses that he sheds many tears in his prostrate, rhema-expectant positions.

While lying, face down on the floor, hands folded in deep intercessory, upon the small of ones back, it becomes necessary to insert a hands-free object between the floor boards and the eyes, not to mention, one must catch the watery mucous that slyly escapes the nose when the crying becomes blubbery.

If my assessments are correct, I would suspect that Billy Boy G's trash can in his red-carpeted office would have at least four tampons in it per day.


But alas, you'll have to ask the barefooted young woman that took out his trash.  And yes, it would have always been a young woman.  Bill Gothard didn't take a fancy to young men bent over beside his desk.

That is all.

Happy Googling!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Why Does God Need Magical Incantations to Stay His Hand?

Cindy Jacobs is a self-proclaimed "prophet of God".  Watching her sermons and excerpts on talks she gives to the sheep that follow her will bring quite a number of hearty laughs to your lips, starting in the lower bowls, jiggling around your diaphragm, and finally bursting forth to thunder around the walls of the room - just like my grandmammy.

Here is a video of her talking, recently, about how she and a bunch of prayer warrior types saved the economy from imminent ruin, by fervently praying at Wall Street in 2008:






After listening to the two-minute self-worshiping piece, I got to thinking about the narcissistic nature of an all-powerful, supreme, all-knowing being, who would require teams of people to beg him to do something that he was going to do anyway - just because...hell, I don't know.

Why do people believe in an imaginary god that makes them humiliate themselves before him, believing that their pleadings could actually be ignored, thwarted, flung away like dung on a cow tail, or granted, even though NOT praying would have the exact same effect?

I'm glad I'm out.