As an ex-fundamentalist Christian, let me see if I can aptly explain the phenomenon of children that are born into the movement and then get out - especially how they are deserved to be viewed once out.
As many of my readers already know, Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper, granddaughters of the evil patriarch of the communal clan, Fred Phelps, left the Westboro Baptist Church cult in November of 2012. On the 7th of February, 2013, Megan posted a quick article on her blog that revealed this news. This was accompanied by articles all over the internet, with reporters who had interviewed Megan (Grace, as far as I am aware, has never publicly spoken to anyone).
That same day, I began a Facebook group called Megan and Grace Phelps Roper Supporters to show these young women public support for their decision to leave the cult, as well as supporting them in the future endeavors away from hateful rhetoric and actions.
For the most part, those who joined the group were very happy with the news and said as much. But, here and there, it became quite obvious that others were understandably angry and wanted nothing to do with these two women. As far as they cared, they would rather Megan and Grace went back to Westboro Baptist Church and stuck their heads back under the rock from whence they came.
I must say, while I completely understand this reaction, I believe it stems from not understanding how a child can be brainwashed into a system and then, in their later years, leave that system ready to be someone better.
I spoke of this in my blog article about the three (actually four) easy steps to spiritually abuse your child. These four steps are what happened to me. I went through this. You can see the spiritual abuse in action in the video I embedded in this blog post. In that video, you can see several things, while the reporter is asking the girls questions. First, the adult is hanging back around the corner, ready to pounce if a girl said one thing off message. Also, you can see the bright smiles and giggly laughter, accompanied by the nonchalant hatred and dead eyes of the girls when they speak of their message. But pay attention to the way the girls feel when they speak of the little Muslim boy. They work hard to say that he is going to hell. But you can tell it hurts them to say it, even if they are not aware of the inner conflict.
These young women in the video were well on their way to becoming who their parents and immediate relatives were. They were taught well and were regurgitating the hatred with abandon and conviction. And yet I saw a glimmer of me in their eyes. A little sliver of hope that they had been introduced to other ways of thinking and they were fighting a battle inside.
I was right and I knew it. Eight months later, I would be proven correct.
But what does that mean for Megan and Grace? Do they deserve the anger towards them for what they did to everyone not like them, on the picket line or on social media where Megan was very prolific? They said millions of hateful words, laughed in the faces of those that were weeping, spewed forth hateful curses on anyone and everyone who lent a listening ear or just happened to be a victim. Not only did they do these things, but they believed what they were taught. They had internalized it, ingested it, and then - lived it.
Now, they have a mess to clean up. A mess that can easily be cleaned up by a deep apology and a life that will be lived - changed for good. Megan already explained that in her blog post, quoting Batman, where she says:
Exactly. These women and their hateful words, will be forever found all over the internet. They will never be able to get away from them. No matter how often and forcefully they apologize, anyone and everyone can point to their past and say, "but..."
I will choose to look at my past life, where I was brainwashed as a child, to despise all homosexuals, Democrats, Muslims, Jews (unless they were Messianic Jews), and, well...anyone who didn't believe the exact creeds that I was told (and even believed) were true. I hurt plenty of people, have since apologized both privately and publicly, and have moved on with a more love-filled and logical life. Yet, even with this knowledge of myself, there will be many who do not accept my words or actions. Everything I used to be is still who I am, according to them.
I am okay with that. I know who I am and refuse to apologize for me, today. I will not be held blameless for what I did in my past and yet I refuse to be guilty for it. I did what I was taught. I am a new person.
And so are Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper. Time will tell the rest of their story.
As many of my readers already know, Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper, granddaughters of the evil patriarch of the communal clan, Fred Phelps, left the Westboro Baptist Church cult in November of 2012. On the 7th of February, 2013, Megan posted a quick article on her blog that revealed this news. This was accompanied by articles all over the internet, with reporters who had interviewed Megan (Grace, as far as I am aware, has never publicly spoken to anyone).
That same day, I began a Facebook group called Megan and Grace Phelps Roper Supporters to show these young women public support for their decision to leave the cult, as well as supporting them in the future endeavors away from hateful rhetoric and actions.
For the most part, those who joined the group were very happy with the news and said as much. But, here and there, it became quite obvious that others were understandably angry and wanted nothing to do with these two women. As far as they cared, they would rather Megan and Grace went back to Westboro Baptist Church and stuck their heads back under the rock from whence they came.
I must say, while I completely understand this reaction, I believe it stems from not understanding how a child can be brainwashed into a system and then, in their later years, leave that system ready to be someone better.
I spoke of this in my blog article about the three (actually four) easy steps to spiritually abuse your child. These four steps are what happened to me. I went through this. You can see the spiritual abuse in action in the video I embedded in this blog post. In that video, you can see several things, while the reporter is asking the girls questions. First, the adult is hanging back around the corner, ready to pounce if a girl said one thing off message. Also, you can see the bright smiles and giggly laughter, accompanied by the nonchalant hatred and dead eyes of the girls when they speak of their message. But pay attention to the way the girls feel when they speak of the little Muslim boy. They work hard to say that he is going to hell. But you can tell it hurts them to say it, even if they are not aware of the inner conflict.
These young women in the video were well on their way to becoming who their parents and immediate relatives were. They were taught well and were regurgitating the hatred with abandon and conviction. And yet I saw a glimmer of me in their eyes. A little sliver of hope that they had been introduced to other ways of thinking and they were fighting a battle inside.
I was right and I knew it. Eight months later, I would be proven correct.
But what does that mean for Megan and Grace? Do they deserve the anger towards them for what they did to everyone not like them, on the picket line or on social media where Megan was very prolific? They said millions of hateful words, laughed in the faces of those that were weeping, spewed forth hateful curses on anyone and everyone who lent a listening ear or just happened to be a victim. Not only did they do these things, but they believed what they were taught. They had internalized it, ingested it, and then - lived it.
Now, they have a mess to clean up. A mess that can easily be cleaned up by a deep apology and a life that will be lived - changed for good. Megan already explained that in her blog post, quoting Batman, where she says:
There's no fresh start in today's world. Any twelve-year-old with a cell phone could find out what you did. Everything we do is collated and quantified. Everything sticks.
Exactly. These women and their hateful words, will be forever found all over the internet. They will never be able to get away from them. No matter how often and forcefully they apologize, anyone and everyone can point to their past and say, "but..."
I will choose to look at my past life, where I was brainwashed as a child, to despise all homosexuals, Democrats, Muslims, Jews (unless they were Messianic Jews), and, well...anyone who didn't believe the exact creeds that I was told (and even believed) were true. I hurt plenty of people, have since apologized both privately and publicly, and have moved on with a more love-filled and logical life. Yet, even with this knowledge of myself, there will be many who do not accept my words or actions. Everything I used to be is still who I am, according to them.
I am okay with that. I know who I am and refuse to apologize for me, today. I will not be held blameless for what I did in my past and yet I refuse to be guilty for it. I did what I was taught. I am a new person.
And so are Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper. Time will tell the rest of their story.
