Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper: I Understand the Anger

As an ex-fundamentalist Christian, let me see if I can aptly explain the phenomenon of children that are born into the movement and then get out - especially how they are deserved to be viewed once out.

As many of my readers already know, Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper, granddaughters of the evil patriarch of the communal clan, Fred Phelps, left the Westboro Baptist Church cult in November of 2012.  On the 7th of February, 2013, Megan posted a quick article on her blog that revealed this news.  This was accompanied by articles all over the internet, with reporters who had interviewed Megan (Grace, as far as I am aware, has never publicly spoken to anyone).

That same day, I began a Facebook group called Megan and Grace Phelps Roper Supporters to show these young women public support for their decision to leave the cult, as well as supporting them in the future endeavors away from hateful rhetoric and actions.

For the most part, those who joined the group were very happy with the news and said as much.  But, here and there, it became quite obvious that others were understandably angry and wanted nothing to do with these two women.  As far as they cared, they would rather Megan and Grace went back to Westboro Baptist Church and stuck their heads back under the rock from whence they came.

I must say, while I completely understand this reaction, I believe it stems from not understanding how a child can be brainwashed into a system and then, in their later years, leave that system ready to be someone better.

I spoke of this in my blog article about the three (actually four) easy steps to spiritually abuse your child.  These four steps are what happened to me.  I went through this.  You can see the spiritual abuse in action in the video I embedded in this blog post.  In that video, you can see several things, while the reporter is asking the girls questions.  First, the adult is hanging back around the corner, ready to pounce if a girl said one thing off message.  Also, you can see the bright smiles and giggly laughter, accompanied by the nonchalant hatred and dead eyes of the girls when they speak of their message.  But pay attention to the way the girls feel when they speak of the little Muslim boy.  They work hard to say that he is going to hell.  But you can tell it hurts them to say it, even if they are not aware of the inner conflict.

These young women in the video were well on their way to becoming who their parents and immediate relatives were.  They were taught well and were regurgitating the hatred with abandon and conviction.  And yet I saw a glimmer of me in their eyes.  A little sliver of hope that they had been introduced to other ways of thinking and they were fighting a battle inside.  

I was right and I knew it.  Eight months later, I would be proven correct.

But what does that mean for Megan and Grace?  Do they deserve the anger towards them for what they did to everyone not like them, on the picket line or on social media where Megan was very prolific?  They said millions of hateful words, laughed in the faces of those that were weeping, spewed forth hateful curses on anyone and everyone who lent a listening ear or just happened to be a victim.  Not only did they do these things, but they believed what they were taught.  They had internalized it, ingested it, and then - lived it.

Now, they have a mess to clean up.  A mess that can easily be cleaned up by a deep apology and a life that will be lived - changed for good.  Megan already explained that in her blog post, quoting Batman, where she says:

There's no fresh start in today's world. Any twelve-year-old with a cell phone could find out what you did. Everything we do is collated and quantified. Everything sticks.

Exactly.  These women and their hateful words, will be forever found all over the internet.  They will never be able to get away from them.  No matter how often and forcefully they apologize, anyone and everyone can point to their past and say, "but..."

I will choose to look at my past life, where I was brainwashed as a child, to despise all homosexuals, Democrats, Muslims, Jews (unless they were Messianic Jews), and, well...anyone who didn't believe the exact creeds that I was told (and even believed) were true.  I hurt plenty of people, have since apologized both privately and publicly, and have moved on with a more love-filled and logical life.  Yet, even with this knowledge of myself, there will be many who do not accept my words or actions.  Everything I used to be is still who I am, according to them.

I am okay with that.  I know who I am and refuse to apologize for me, today.  I will not be held blameless for what I did in my past and yet I refuse to be guilty for it.  I did what I was taught.  I am a new person.

And so are Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper.  Time will tell the rest of their story.

Westboro Baptist Losing the Young

"The act of leaving Westboro is as weird as the church itself. Sometimes it’s described as a shunning process, but that’s not entirely apt. It is, in the eyes of the remaining members, a sort of death, but it’s a gentle one, because the carcass isn’t just dumped or ignored."

If that doesn't catch your attention, know this:

Megan Phelps-Roper, granddaughter of Fred Phelps, has left Westboro Baptist.  So have other young people.  Lauren Drain, Grace (Megan's sister), Libby Phelps Alvarez.

Readers, I cried when I read this article .  And, trust me, I don't cry that often.  I'm sitting here at work, wiping my eyes after one of those spluttering, blubbery cries.  I need to wipe my nose.

I've written a lot about Westboro Baptist here, including a piece where I wished for the day that the grandchildren of the Phelps asshole, Fred, would jump ship.  My wishes are coming true.  These are beautiful children and deserve much better than the hatred and ridicule that is spewed at them when they shout out their hateful message.  That hatred, toward them, is as undeserved as yelling at a cashier, blaming them for a dented soup can you found on the grocery shelf.

These kids were brainwashed from birth.  I know.  I was one of them.  Not part of Westboro, bit a hateful fundamentalist, shunning everyone but those in my club.

As I've said before, I don't care about the adults that raised them.  They can rot in an earthly hell, for all I care.  I only care about their children.  Those that have a future when they leave.  

And now they can realize it.

I love you, kids.  Thank you for thinking and them moving with those thoughts.  There is hope for the world at last.

Fred Phelps Clan Caught in an Hypocritical Trap

Don't go to any of their websites.  Anything I cite, I'll print out here so they don't see a traffic bump and have an orgasm. 

On June 3, 2012, at 8:45 AM in the morning, the hateful Fred Phelps clan will be picketing the College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas.  Why, you might ask?  Does this Olathe church preach that it's okay to be gay?  You would think so, with all the focus on Westboro Baptist Church's own addiction to gay sex.  They love it.  They have to print pictures on placards so they can look at it.  They show it to their children from the day they come out of the womb.  (Yeah...that was allegorical.  How would I know.  But, you can see plenty of pictures of their babies and little children on the curbs where they are protesting, to jump to that conclusion).

No.  Not because this church preaches love.  Not remotely.  In their own words, Westboro Baptist Church is picketing this church because:

"...[the church] tells the people that they have a free will to accept Jesus as their savior, thereby giving the power over salvation to the creature."

That's it.  Yep.  They are picketing this poor church because the people of WBC are strict neo-Calvanists!

But wait.  Something is wrong here.  If you watch this story of Lauren Drain, daughter of Steve Drain, member of WBC, you'll see a curious contradiction at work. 

Lauren was excommunicated from the church and begged her parents to forgive her.  She said she would do anything to stay. (The reader might wonder why a grown woman would beg to stay in such filthy hatred and a commune environment that caused her to be ostracized by the most people that would otherwise want to love her.  I know this feeling.  When it is all you know, leaving it is very fearful - especially when you have been told that you will burn in hell if you do leave.) When the reporter asked Steve Drain about his daughter, Steve acted completely indifferent and actually mocked her on camera.  He said that they gave her over to Satan.

Then, on camera, Steve Drain tells Louis Theroux that the members of WBC are the only elect (chosen by god to be in heaven, granted salvation through no power of their own).  How does he know?  He answers that question with a question:



"Do you see anyone else obeying the commands of the Lord and doing what we do?"

The question was rhetorical and he knew it.  He followed it up with a "that's how we know" and a confident fist bump to his god - a figment of his imagination.

Um...Steve?  Are you saying that you are the elect because you obey the commands of the Lord?  Are you not picketing a church tomorrow because they make "the blood of Jesus to no effect (sorry..the Bible uses a lot of Yoda-speak...bear with me)" by "giving the power of salvation over to the creature"?  Didn't you say on camera that, should Lauren ever come back and prove that she is one of the elect, you would accept her as the elect?  Wouldn't she be proving that of her own power, making election a fancy and useless misnomer?  Are you not concluding that you are the elect because you are the only blokes on this evil planet doing what the Lord commanded, thereby putting the power of salvation back into the hands of the creature?

I wouldn't expect the people of WBC - especially Steve Drain, who barfs out words that make no sense, designs placards that are simply stupid and meaningless (like his "Bitch Burger" sign), and puts together videos of random cartoons and faces of people and imagery that make no sense, even when he tries to explain them - to think long enough to try and refute me.  They'll throw out something like "you reject the word of the Lord and you're going to hell!"  More than likely, they'll have one of their kids do the deed.  But, there you have it (as if you really needed a reason). 

You can now reject Westboro Baptist Church and all their members as hypocrites.  Vile ones at that.  But don't tell them that.  They'll throw it back in your face, pretending that it actually means something.  Just go about your merry way and feel smug.

Fred Phelps Grandchildren - My Heart is Heavy

If you have been reading this blog for long, you will know I have two biases.  My greatest bias is toward women.  There is no greater living being on the face of this earth than a woman.  And I love them for everything they are.  My second bias is toward children and grandchildren of spiritually abusive caretakers. 

I just spent all night without sleep studying Fred Phelps, the elderly hateful "pastor" of the Westboro Baptist Church, and his extended family. Part of my research led me to the embedded video, which is part of a series by Louis Theroux titled, The Most Hated Family in America.

In this video, we watch as Theroux goes into the bedroom of Phelp's 11-year-old grandson to interview him.  Two things stood out to me during this brief discussion.

1. The young man was quite obviously parroting lines he had heard repeated over and over again.  Without even thinking, he said that "gay" meant "happy", which is a line from one of Phelps' many sermons, then he quickly listed "homosexuality" as another trite description of what are most definitely "filthy fags, so you can just shut up."  The boy quickly coughed on his words, realizing what just came out of his mouth and seeing Theroux's reaction and incredulous questioning of "you just told me to shut-up?!", quickly backpedaled in red-faced embarrassment and apologized.

He never meant to say those words.  You can watch the video and see it in living color.  The fact is, he had been trained to say them.  The rhetoric had been so etched into his brain that he never even batted an eye.  His training was such that he was taught to talk to a person as if they disagreed with his viewpoint.  I believe this young man has never met a person outside of his family who agrees with him.  It's sad.

2. When asked to validate the "end times" happenings in the contemporary world, he starts speaking incoherently about an aunt's vision of a pink cave that fits their extended family.  Then, he tells of them huddling around a computer screen, finding pink caves in Jordan.  Obviously, to this young man, this narrative is proof that the end is near.  Twice, he tries to get Theroux to acknowledge that the image was "cool".  Theroux graciously obliged him.  Again, sad. 

Reality is not a necessary ingredient in this young man's life.  Worse yet, a cave is only small enough to fit his entire 80-strong extended family in.  Thus, he has swallowed the idea that other members have set forth, that since nobody is doing what they are doing, there are no others in the elect of God.  All others will go to hell.

Then, Theroux moves on to the bedroom of one of the granddaughters.  Within seconds, he is surrounded by the other two granddaughters and some woman who I assume was their mother.  I stared in shock and wonder.  These girls were absolutely beautiful!  And they wore fashionable clothing.

Then they opened their mouths.  And I wept.

My heart is heavy.  I can only hope beyond all hope, that these beautiful young ladies will cast off the shackles of the embittered women they call their mothers, and the pompous pricks they call their fathers, reject the heavy handed, tunnel visioned, hateful, bigoted rhetoric of their master, Fred Phelps, and run.  The world needs their beauty for both a brighter canvas of life, as well as the intellect that they revealed.

While you watch the lengthy discussion between Theroux and the girls, note two things:

[Update: Oops!  While the video embedded above is the correct video for watching the young boy speak, it does not contain the content of the girl's flushed faces.  Watch it anyway to see a discussion about a Muslim wife dying because her husband didn't burn Korans with the faithful.  The correct link is here.  Start it at 47:00.]

1. The girls are in love with a young reporter from overseas.  You can see it in their faces.  They are flushed whenever he is referenced.  The most beautiful of the girls has his picture on her phone.  They have been exchanging gifts and following one another on Twitter.  And yet, they rejoice that God is good by sending him to hell.  Romance is out of the question even though there is so much there for them.

2. God is sovereign and the girls must worship him for all his naughty judgements, as well as his good ones.  Oddly enough, only their family receives the good ones.  Everyone else is going to hell.  They are not even interested in reaching this young reporter for God.  Hell, as his destination, is a bygone conclusion.  And they laugh, shrug it off, and go on with life.

I weep.  My heart is heavy.