Another Hephzibah House Abuse Story

On January 8, 2012, I wrote a blog post titled, Tim Dunkin's Hephzibah House Faux Pas, in response to a terrible article by Dunkin himself.  It was, and still is, one of the most read post on Incongruous Circumspection. 

In that post, you'll find links to other first-person survivors of the extreme HH abuse stories, as well as a robust conversation in the comments when one Lucinda, a staunch defender of HH, begins to attack those who are telling their stories.  

Today, one of the commenters posted the following anecdote, in response to Lucinda's claims that abuse simply did not happen at HH.  I have edited out some personal religious opinions for the purpose of this post, but feel free to read the comment in it's entirety.

Are you serious? Ok, so let me get this straight Lucinda. When I was there, I followed their rules to the letter. Always had my [Bible] verses memorized, always completed chores quickly and thoroughly, never mouthed off or argued. 

My one "crime' was that one night I wet the bed because they would not allow me to go to the bathroom. The incident was extremely embarrassing for me, and having to tell them in front of all the other girls, even more so. So they put me in diapers and made it a point to tell all the other girls how nasty I was. Of course this further humiliation and stress added to the fact that they would refuse to let me go to bathroom when I clearly needed to only made things worse. 

There was also the isolation.....speaking partners? Yeah....mine left the week after I got there and for the next 8 months I was not allowed to speak to a single other person there other than staff. I got one phone call with my family the entire time I was there. Once I accidentally made eye contact with another girl. Since that was considered "communication" I was punished by not getting dinner. On top of that I was stood up in front of the entire school and raked over the coals by Naomi, who told me how worthless I was, and that I was possessed by demons and the my parents would never love me because I was so rebellious. 

Yeah, rebellious.....because they forced me to drink more liquid then (sic) I could hold and then refused to let me go to the bathroom. Once when [we] were standing in line waiting for bathroom break, Naomi spotted a drop of water on the floor. It was immediately blamed on me......the fact that I hadn't had an accident was irrelevant, they were convinced I had somehow peed one drop on the floor and so as a punishment I had to scrub the brick floor of the entire building. Alone. and of course on hands and knees. My knees were bruised and blistered for days, but of course they didn't care. 

And all the while, while they were telling my family I was rebellious and disrespectful and refused to follow the rules....outright lies. 

Once while getting ready for church, I didn't move away from the mirror in the dorm fast enough to please Naomi so she grabbed me by the back of my dress and literally threw me down on the floor, But that was also my fault because that extra .5 seconds I was standing there was rebellion. So eventually, they told my parents that I was demon possessed and a hopeless case, that I would never change and they kicked me out. 

The day I left I got called to William's office. I was lectured sternly on what a horrible, wicked person I was and that he prayed that God would save my soul from the fires of hell, but he feared it was too late for me. I was then laid down on the floor and spanked. And by spanked I mean beat so hard and so many strikes that my buttocks were bleeding. Literally bleeding. 

So now how about you go and argue that was NOT abuse. If you truly believe that then I feel for you because you are more brainwashed and ignorant then I ever imagined. 

Furthermore, not only did they blatantly lie to my parents about how I was behaving and that they had NOT spanked me, but my parents took out a load to pay for the full 15 months I was supposed to be there in advance. They never got a dime back. 

As for Patty William's, she was a bitter, angry, hateful woman who specialized in degrading others ( believe[d] calling us whore's (sic) and slut[s] and telling us how lazy we were while all 300 lbs of her perched on her balcony above us was her specialty) ... 

Oh did I mention that when I arrived home I was down to 101 lbs, from the 143 I was when I arrived there. I'm 5'9", so that is dangerously skinny. I also had a massive UTI from being forced to hold my urine for hours. 15 years later I still have nightmares about that place. So go ahead and keep deluding yourself. I feel for you, and pray that you will see the truth.

And that is why I write about this.  Hephzibah House is evil, is still in business, and the state of Indiana refuses to do anything about the alleged abuse.  Religious boarding schools flock to that state because of its complete lack of regulation over them.

Also, read about Ken Copley, the pastor that sexually abused his adopted daughter, and is now happily pastoring a church in Fort Wayne, IN. 

The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Left Quietly and is Still a Pastor

Read Part 8 - The Great Deceiver: Pregnancy and Coerced Abortion

One day, I shared with Ken Copley that I felt our pastor was having an affair with our worship leader. About a year later they were caught and I was devastated that sin had dragged away our pastor. I called Dr. Copley sobbing and I asked him, "Are we doing the same thing?" He said, "Absolutely not, our situation is very different we are in God's will." Looking back, I wonder why I asked that question? I must have had doubts or I would not have asked.  My heart still sinks with shame when I think about how I was entangled in such an affair and did not believe I was having an affair.

Soon after my abortion, Dr. Copley came to my house and said, "God has yanked my chain. I made you mine and your not mine, I must let you go." I cried and cried because I had been so enmeshed with him over the last two years I did not know how to function on my own. I had been feeling freedom and healing, yet in a new way I was completely handicapped. I did not know what to do. My son saw his mom fall apart and it was not a positive experience.

I told my best friend the truth about what had happened and she said we must tell the counseling board. So we called those in charge over Dr. Copley and informed them of what had happened. My friend actually relayed the information because I was very unstable at this point. Dr. Copley resigned and removed all ties with Christian counseling center.

I was set up with another counselor who helped me process what had happened. I counseled with him for about 3 years. In that time all my vulnerabilities surfaced and I was not once taken advantage of in my immaturity. I discovered that it was not me that was the problem it was the past counselors I had. I needed someone to show me what to do with my issues and not shame me or take advantage of me. Finally I received healing and moved on and I am now married and graduated from Ivy Tech Community College as an RN.

I am now living in the moment and thriving on life. I found out about Ruth, Dr. Copley's daughter's story, I have not been able to shake it from my mind. I now realize that Dr C is a predator and is still in ministry and something must be done to stop this abuse from being perpetrated on anyone else.

******

According to The Cross at Fort Wayne, IN's website, Dr. Kenneth Copley is still Associate Pastor at this church.

The Great Deceiver: Pregnancy and Coerced Abortion

 Read Part 7 - The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Begins the Sexual Grooming

After a while we took the next step, he had an orgasm inside of me and later I found out it was his and Elizabeth's (Elizabeth was his wife) anniversary and he said she did not want anything to do with him. He said for Christmas the family did not buy anything for him and he and Ruth, his adopted daughter, sat alone to eat because the rest of the family did not want anything to do with them. He had told me that Ruth had sexually abused one of his other children and that his wife wanted to get rid of her but he fought for her. 

The reason I'm putting my story down on paper is because I read Ruth's story of how he sexually abused her. Now I know Dr. Copley is simply a predator who uses God as a way to get his own needs satisfied.

The day came when I had missed my period and in the middle of the night we drove to the nearest town 30 minutes away and got a pregnancy test, in fact we got two of them. Both revealed I was pregnant. I was so excited because in my deception I believed God wanted us to be together.

It was confusing, but he was my daddy to my child parts and somehow I saw him as someone whom I could marry as well. This makes no sense whatsoever. I was 29 and he was 55. What happened to my perspective of him before he held me? I had seen him as controlling and unnerving, yet after he held me all of a sudden I was emotionally tied in a way that was obviously blocking truth.

So, I find out I'm pregnant. I figured he would take care of things. We were so connected that I could tell what he was thinking without me saying a word. I looked at him the next morning and I asked him what we were going to do and he looked at me. I immediately knew he wanted me to get an abortion.

My heart sank and my mouth went dry. He could surely not ask me to take our child's life? He said we would not be taking our child's life, but we would be sending our baby ahead to see Jesus, and then later we can have another one. It would be too hard on the child to be born and it was too messy at this time, with his wife and family.

I died inside and chose Dr. Copley over my baby. I can hardly write about it without vomiting.  I can't believe I thought I had to have a man and chose him over my baby. What was wrong with me? I was in a trance, doing things that were not in character for me.

Continue to Final Part, Part 9 - Dr. Kenneth Copley Left Quietly and is Still a Pastor

The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Begins the Sexual Grooming

Read Part 6 - The Great Deceiver: Crawling Up Onto Dr. Ken Copley's Lap

After about a year, deception took over and we started meeting at hotels and spent the night together. It seemed so safe and innocent because nothing sexual had happened. My divorce was finalized in May of 2002 and after that Dr. Copley touched me sexually for the first time. We were at my house and I thought we were having our normal daddy daughter time as we always did.

With my guard down, he touched me and I came to orgasm.

I said to him, "How can this be right? I just had an orgasm with you?"

He said, "Well, let's pray about it."

He prayed and asked The Lord to show us truth. Afterwards he said he was healing me from my sexual abuse and wanted to know if I felt dirty with him? I told him I didn't. He asked if I had felt dirty when I was abused? I told him I had. Then he concluded that this sexual touching could not of course, be wrong.

I let myself be swayed because he was so gentle and he would tell me how beautiful I was while he was stroking me. His voice and his touch made me melt. I kept praying, asking God to please show me what was happening?  I had never experienced sex in such a beautiful way, not even in marriage, so was this wrong?

The emotional enmeshment Dr. Copley developed with my young parts allowed him a road into the depths of my heart in a way that removed all guards and I let him take over my heart. At times our roles would switch and I would love and counsel his little ones because he also had dissociated parts. I would nurse his little ones and sing to him and he would cry through memories.

Dr. Copley and I were completely enmeshed after our first sexual encounter. He would tell me over and over how much he loved who I was and how he liked what he learned from me and would use it when speaking. He would tell me that he felt we were having an Adam an Eve experience before there was sin. He seemed to prove it by not getting an erection when he saw me naked. He would say, "If this was not a God thing, I would be getting an erection." That seemed convincing to me.

Continue to Part 8 - The Great Deceiver: Pregnancy and Coerced Abortion

The Great Deciever: Crawling Up Onto Dr. Ken Copley's Lap

Read Part 5 - The Great Deceiver: Enter Stage Right - Dr. Ken Copley

I recall our first counseling session. I was in an oppression that had lasted for at least a week. This would happen a lot when I got stuck in a memory. Dr. Ken Copley asked me if I knew what helped me when I went through these oppressions. 

I said, "Waiting for The Lord and quoting scripture."

Then, I said, "what I really want is to crawl up in your lap and let The Lord hold me, I feel that would help my little ones."

I said this nonchalantly, not thinking he would hold me.

He looked at me  and said, "Okay."

I said, "What? Really?"

My little ones inside were jumping for joy, but I felt really uncomfortable. I followed the desires of the little ones and we sat in his lap and the oppression lifted immediately. I felt warm and soft inside. Immediately I felt so bonded to this man and I no longer saw him clearly. My little ones were driving the bus of my life and this was dangerous.

[I interject here to say that I don't really know what the author is meaning by "little ones".  Feelings?  Sexual feelings?  I'm not sure. 

I. C.]
 
At first, Dr. Copley kept things at a daddy/daughter level, he would hold me and rock me and I would cry through my childhood memories and he would pray over me and ask God to bring truth to the lies. He would say, others would not understand our relationship and we had to be careful what we share with others. Over the 2 years with Dr. Copley, he removed many people from my life.

Continue to Part 7 - The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Begins the Sexual Grooming

The Great Deceiver: Enter Stage Right...Dr. Ken Copley

 Read Part 4: The Great Deceiver: A Perfect Set-up for Abuse - The Need for a Daddy

I started counseling with a Biblical counseling center out of Indianapolis, IN. in 1999. I worked with one counselor for about 2 years. I was getting increasingly more unstable as we uncovered parts of my past that I had no previous recollection of. The center decided to send me to see a special counselor out in California who had a special understanding of the brain and how abuse and neglect affects brain structures.

In 2001, I spent a week in California and when I left to head home on the plane, I had a very good understanding why I was the way I was and how much I could handle. The counselor and I decided that my husband and I needed a therapeutic separation, so I could get some space to heal and my husband could have some time to do some introspection. 

(Small detail I missed: In 2000: My husband, during a prayer, in front of a counselor asked God to forgive him for committing adultery with 2 different women.  My jaw fell open and I was shocked to find out this information through a prayer. The lay counselor looked at me and stated.."Your husband needs you right now." (my husband was crying). I wanted to scream, my husband needs ME??!  My heart was already like a broken windshield, this betrayal felt like someone took a sledgehammer to my broken windshield. Within 30 min I had a severe migraine and was vomiting.)

So I am heading home on the plane from California to Indianapolis. I arrive at the gate in the California airport and I look up and see Dr. Ken Copley who was the one in charge of the counseling center that sent me to California. I told him that I was on my way back from seeing the special brain counselor. He said, "Well...lets sit together on the plane and you can tell me all about it."

I had seen Dr. Ken Copley in the hallways at the counseling center but I had never counseled with him. I did not care for his presence, something about him unnerved me. I did not trust him. As we spoke on the plane, I felt that I should start counseling with him. I returned to Indiana and shared with my current counselor how I felt like Dr. Ken Copley was going to hurt me, but that I felt I was suppose to counsel with him. Little did I know what was going to happen.

So in 2001, after I came back from California, my husband and I separated and Dr. Ken Copley and I started counseling.

Continue to Part 6 - The Great Deceiver: Crawling Up Onto Dr. Ken Copley's Lap

The Great Deceiver: A Perfect Set-up for Abuse - The Need for a Daddy

Read Part 3 - The Great Deceiver: Never Good Enough and Losing Heart

I physically left my Amish family's home at age 17. I married a man who grew up Amish and we became Mennonite. There came a time in our marriage where I felt I did not respect my husband. I asked him if he had committed adultery? He said no. I told  him that my problem with respect must just be in my past and I'm going to counseling to get some help. He let me believe it was all my fault and I started counseling with a special center that dealt with adults who felt like little children.

I had started to feel like a little girl after a tent revival in 1996 where I was triggered into bitterness I had towards my dad. It was my first experience with the living God. They prayed for me and  I felt like chains fell off of me and my eyes were opened and I could cry and I felt my heart. This led me to feeling like a little girl and all I wanted was a daddy. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. I was 21 yrs old and I was consumed with this strange desire to sit on a daddy's lap.

The problem with this was not the desire, it was the people who used this desire to their advantage or used it to tell me I was crazy and if only I wanted to get over this desire I could. The problem was me. My family told me the problem was me, my community told me the problem was me, the church told me the problem was me.

Thus, I was set up to believe that it was my fault when counselors exploited my vulnerability.

Continue to Part 5 - The Great Deceiver: Enter Stage Right...Dr. Ken Copley

The Great Deceiver: Never Good Enough and Losing Heart

Read Part 2 - The Great Deceiver: Punishment for Telling

At age 12, I won the Spelling Bee and was to compete at the state level and represent our school. In spite of the fact that we were Amish, my dad was way too stingy to send us to a private Amish school, so we were allowed to go to the public school, where there were only 3 Amish in my entire class of 60.  I had been studying for weeks, memorizing words I could not even pronounce. This was my chance to shine and to make my school proud. Atwood-Hammond was a small school in a town of 2500. If I could go to Washington and bring home the title, that would have been a good way to end eighth grade. Amish were not allowed to pursue a degree beyond eighth grade, so this was it for me. My last chance to leave my  mark. I wanted to play basketball and be a part of the drama team but I was not allowed to do any of these extracurricular activities. So this was truly my one and only chance. My family looked down their nose at me and scowled with contempt when I spoke. The community hated me because of my dad's reputation. School was the only safe place for me to be liked and noticed.

One day while I was sitting in Reading class, my teacher called me out into the coat hall. I could see the look on his face was very sad and troubled. I thought I was getting a death message, by the look on his face. Little did I know it was going to be a death message for my heart. He said, "Your mom called and said you are not allowed to go to the Spelling Bee". My heart dropped and the blood rushed to my face "What?!!!!", I said with shock in my voice.  They had not had the courage to say anything to me? I had had no idea this was coming, I felt betrayed and abandoned in a whole new way.

I arrived home on the bus after getting this message from my teacher and my parents were not at home. I took all the money in the house, the shoes on my feet, left them a note that simply said, "You shouldn't have done it!" I took off on foot and met my friends mother, Sue, whom I had called to pick me up. Sue was adamant that she could not keep me if the police came looking for me. I told her not to worry and that I would take off if they come to the house. Long story short, my friend brought me to my senses when she reminded me that I would never see my niece again. My parents reached me that night but not before I cut my hair from butt length to shoulder length with bangs. I was making a statement of rebellion! I returned home that night, physically, but my heart never returned.

I made a decision that day to never be Amish, for I would never and could never take away an achievement from my child because of a church's rules. I was 12 and would never be the same compliant young lady who had been easily abused prior to this day. I had made many excuses for the way my family treated me, but I could not create an excuse for their behavior this time. They had crossed a line in my book.  I had protected myself from the truth about my parents up until this point in my life. I had a very soft heart and could not bear that my family was the problem, it was easier for me to believe it was all my fault.

Continue to Part 4 - The Great Deceiver: The Perfect Set-up for Abuse - The Need for a Daddy

The Great Deceiver: Punishment for Telling

Read Part 1 - The Great Deceiver: Being Primed for Sexual Abuse

When I was in my early 30's I was experiencing unusual body memories that I had no pictures in my mind to match. I happened to be on the phone one day with my mother and mentioned that I was having some strange feelings in my body, like someone was abusing me but I could not remember anything about it. She said very nonchalantly, oh, well, when your sister got married you told me that your brother had done something sexual to you and your brother was standing there and said you wanted it. Her voice tone changed to a more helpless voice tone and she said, "What was I suppose to do? I had to keep getting read for your
sister's wedding!"  I said, "Well surely  you didn't leave me alone with him again did you?" She stated, " We had to." 

Immediately I knew what had happened. 

My brother had told me that he was giving me a good thing but since I told, I was now going to get hurt, he used a broomstick and put it in my anus and rammed it again and again. I cried and cried, he kicked me and left me laying there. I was so glad  when he was done with me. I thought back to when I was five and had decided it was going to get worse.

I was right.

After my brother finished teaching me the lesson and left me alone, I was so alone I wished I had not told him to stop touching me. I started seeking out the neighbor boys and found myself wanting to be available if they wanted to touch me. Now that I had no affection or anyone wanting to spend time with me, I hoped for someone to touch me in any way they wanted to. I would put up with whatever I could get, because I felt so alone.

I now recognize this problem as the very reason that predators can get away with what they do. They know how to find the vulnerable unstable women who were not given the positive affection they needed and they meet this need while satisfying their own sexual needs. This is violation and abuse at its highest levels. It leaves the victim feeling like it was their fault because they liked it and wanted it. This victim cycle will happen until a healthy counselor stops this cycle for the victim and does not follow through on the victims unhealthy desires. At the end of this story I will share about one such counselor that came into my life and helped me past this cycle in my life. If I had not had this latter experience, I would not know this healthy perspective.

Continue to Part 3 - The Great Deceiver: Never Good Enough and Losing Heart

The Great Deceiver: Being Primed for Sexual Abuse

 This begins the new series.  Also, to read more about Dr. Kenneth Copley, read "The Hammer Drops" series, which details this predator's sexual abuse of his adopted daughter, Ruth.  The names of the victims have been changed in The Great Deceiver, as well as supporting characters and the names of places or organizations, at the request of the author of this story.

******

I was raised Amish in central Illinois. I am the fourth born and was informed by my mother that dad was very angry when he discovered she was pregnant with me. My mother said she cried through most of the pregnancy because dad would yell at her when he was frustrated with life, which was daily.

I was told that, as an infant, I cried all the time and my dad demanded: "take that baby in the bedroom and shut it up!" It was stressful for both my mom and my sister who tried to keep me quiet so dad would not yell. My brother informed me that dad was fine until I was born and then he started yelling all the time. It seemed I ruined the family when I was born. These facts that were shared with me matched how I felt inside. I struggled with cognitive dissonance, which simply means what you think about something and feel about something do not match. I did not like to be informed about such horrible things that were done and said about me, however, it finally made sense why I felt the way I did. I felt unwanted and when the pain of the past surfaced it was like an uncontrollable emotional bleeding and no comfort was found.

Hopeless despair means I am in pain and no help is on the way. This characterized my childhood and expanded into adulthood as I was a magnet for more abuse.

At age five when children decide what life is all about, I decided that life was not going to get any better.  I recall on my fifth birthday I stood between the two tall wooden telephone poles in our front yard,looked around, and I remember saying to myself, "Look around Sharon, you think this is bad, its going to get worse so brace yourself and move on". In that moment I dissociated and I left my heart there in the middle of those two tall wooden telephone poles.

Also at age five, I recall my brother who was five years older, asking me to go to the barn for a special and secretive time with him. He made me feel like we were going for ice cream or going to look at something special he couldn't wait for  me to see, such as bunnies being born. Instead he would flip me over and make me stand on my head, while he spread my legs and and penetrated me over and over again with his fingers, it hurt really bad. But he told me this was special and that I should never tell anyone because it was a secret good thing he was doing for me. I believed him and so for a couple of years I thought it was okay.

At age eight I decided this was not okay. So I said no, one day, when he reached over to touch me during a card game. We would play cards on his bed and I always wanted to play with him, but he would always want to fondle me. I just wanted to play cards but when I said no to the fondling, he stopped playing cards with me and I was so lonely that I wished I had not told him no.

Part 2 - The Great Deceiver: Punishment for Telling

Upcoming Series - The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Strikes Again

I will be posting a multi-part story from a woman who contacted me about an extended affair she had with Dr. Kenneth Copley, while he was a counselor at a "biblical" counseling center in Carmel, Indiana.

This story is not for young readers, is sexually graphic in nature due to necessity, and has only been minimally altered grammatically by me.

As you will see, the victim struggles with her spirituality and still continues to claim Christianity to this day.  While I am convinced that full healing will only be possible once the shackles of religion is thrown off completely, I have respected the author's desire to portray her perceived wonders of spiritual healing.  I find no fault in that path.

For those who are unfamiliar with my series of the sexual abuse of another victim, Ruth Copley Burger, at the hands of Dr. Kenneth Copley, her adopted father, you can begin that series here.

As reported here, around the time the "Hammer Drops" series went to post, it was discovered that Dr. Kenneth Copley had been a counseling pastor at Brownsburg Baptist Church in Brownsburg, IN.  The church was contacted and the the pastor informed those who contacted him that Dr. Kenneth Copley was no longer employed at the church.

Further research was done and it was discovered that Dr. Kenneth Copley was now employed at The Cross in Fort Wayne, IN.  If you glance over on the right of that page, you will see Dr. Kenneth Copley's name prominently displayed as the Associate Pastor of this church.  If this is still the case, people need to be warned of Dr. Kenneth Copley's propensity to groom his young victims and strike when they are most vulnerable.

I hope you find The Great Deceiver series riveting, horrifying, and a call to stop sexual abuse behind a religious curtain of "good ole' boy" secrecy.

Part 1: Being Primed for Sexual Abuse

The Hammer Drops - Dr. Ken Copley Employed Again

Many of my readers may be familiar with the series about Dr. Ken Copley sexually molesting his adopted daughter, Ruth Copley Burger.  If not, it is a nine part series, written from the pen of Ruth herself, telling the gruesome details.  The first part is titled, Adoption Into A Family.

Just before publishing this series, we discovered that Dr. Ken Copley was employed at Brownsburg Baptist Church in Brownsburg, Indiana as the Counseling Pastor.  In a whirlwind of confusing events where many phone calls were placed to the church and a letter was even sent to the governor of Indiana, Mitch Daniels, Incongruous Circumspection was informed that Dr. Ken Copley was no longer employed at the church and the website was scrubbed of all his information.

The trail went cold - until now.

Dr. Ken Copley is now employed at The Cross in Fort Wayne, Indiana.  You can view his name on the right of the home page.  And yes, he is the Associate Pastor. 

Why am I telling you this?  Simple.  Dr. Ken Copley has never once admitted to his crimes.  He hasn't even addressed the allegations in a public forum.  He has also never provided information to rebut the allegations.  More importantly, having never confessed to his crimes, Dr. Ken Copley has never admitted to himself that he has a problem and needs to be rehabilitated for his sexual deviance. 

In short, Dr. Ken Copley is in a position of authority, in a religious institution, which brings through its doors, many trusting individuals - especially women and young girls - never being given the opportunity to completely vet their associate pastor for his alleged sexual crimes.  They have the right to know.  The parents who attend that church has the right to know the danger that exists right under their noses.

I hope justice will prevail and nobody else will ever be harmed.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley No Longer Employed

A friend of Incongruous Circumspection sent an email to Brownburg Baptist Church in Brownburg, Indiana, requesting that the church look into the allegations against Dr. Kenneth Copley by his adopted daughter, Ruth Esther (Copley) Burger.  This friend of the blog received the following communication from the pastor's wife, Diana Abbott.

******

Thank you for your concern. Dr. Copley is no longer on staff or our church membership as of May 20, and our web site is being updated. We were not aware of these accusations, but do take such things very seriously. We share your desire for the truth to be brought to light for the sake of all involved.

Respectfully,
Diana Abbott

******

Ruth's story was posted on this blog on June 3, 2012, which means that Dr. Kenneth Copley had already left Brownburg Baptist Church prior to its release. 


Take away what you will from this correspondence.  At this point, Incongruous Circumpection is not aware of Dr. Kenneth Copley being employed where there are minors under his care or in any position of authority over another person.  If it is discovered that he is, I will keep you posted.


Thank you,


I. C.

The Hammer Drops: Ruth Burger's (Copley) Letter to Governor Mitch Daniels

Since I posted this series earlier today, there has been a heavy response to it.  Many people have now seen this story and have commented on the blog, as well as spoken to me personally.  Some have even spoken to the victim who was named in the series.  Her name in the series in Ruth Esther Copley, but her married name now is Ruth Burger.

She has been getting inquiries as to how her case is going due to her quick mention of the non-status in the Unfinished Justice post. Rather than answering each person individually, she has elected to post a letter she wrote to the Indiana Governor, Mitch Daniels in April 2012, detailing her case, inquiring of him to step in and do the right thing.  You will see, in the text of the letter that I have copied here, the legal shenanigans that have been going on behind the scenes.

This will put her case in perspective for everyone and maybe for Governor Mitch Daniels, who has not responded at all.

Thank you,

I. C.

*****

Ruth Burger
[Address Redacted]
[Email Address Redacted]
[Phone Number Redacted]

10 April 2012

Dear Governor Mitch Daniels,

My name is Ruth Burger.  I am a former Indiana resident and an Army Veteran of the Iraq War.  In March 2004, I was admitted to Community North Hospital for suicide prevention.  During my week-long stay, I informed the mental health staff of sexual abuse committed against me by my father.  I also reported minors living within the home.  In September of the same year, I was re-admitted for a two-week stay at Community North.  While there, I once again relayed my story of physical and sexual abuse.

After moving to Colorado in 2006, I suffered yet another mental health relapse.  Cedar Springs accepted me into their mental health facility for a week-long stay.

During my hospitalization, I once again shared my history.  This time, Cedar Springs mental health professionals contacted the Indiana Hamilton County Police and filed an official report on my behalf.

Upon release from Cedar Springs, I was instructed to participate in a video interview for Hamilton County.  House of Hope conducted the interview and forwarded the information back to Hamilton County Police.

I was never again contacted by Hamilton County and simply assumed my statute of limitations had run out. 

In January 2012, I was informed my statute of limitations had not expired; I have until I am thirty/thirty-one to press charges.  I immediately contacted Detective Lana Howard of the Hamilton PD and informed her I was interested in pursuing my case.

Detective Howard forwarded my information and details of my case to the District Attorney.  In mid-February 2012, she informed me the District Attorney has not only refused to prosecute, but has refused to further investigate my case.  She also informed me in August 2011, they [the police] destroyed my evidence and interview(s) due to “lack of interest.”  She said the investigation she conducted in 2006 included my video interview and an interview with each of my younger siblings.  It was these interviews that were destroyed by the Carmel Police.  To my knowledge, no one else has been questioned personally, including my older siblings, my mother, or me.

I have contacted the Indiana Coalition of Sexual Abuse.  ICSA is currently advocating on my behalf.  Nearly four weeks ago, I asked permission to speak with the District Attorney personally so I may hear his thoughts and express my concerns.  My request has been blatantly ignored.  ICSA has also requested to speak with the Hamilton District Attorney.  As of today, none of her emails or phone calls has been returned.

Governor Daniels, gross negligence has occurred regarding the reporting, investigation, and handling of evidence in my case.  I am appalled that Indiana would move to destroy evidence and interviews before the statute of limitations passed.  It is distressing to know that my right to justice has been so severely stymied from the day I first sought help.  It is completely unacceptable that Community North mental health counselors, doctors, nurses and other professionals fully abdicated their legal obligations to file and further protect other minors from my perpetrator. 

I feel Indiana has handled my case with carelessness, neglect, and disrespect.  Is this the message Indiana wants to pass on to every woman who finds the strength and courage to speak out about their abuse?  Why would Indiana destroy evidence prior to the statute of limitations being passed?  Is this how Indiana routinely handles sexual abuse cases?   How can Community North get away with gross negligence regarding the handling and obligatory reporting of sexual abuse with full knowledge of minors still living within the home?  How many more patients have passed through Community North with unreported abuse?

Please encourage the Hamilton County District Attorney to re-open and conduct a thorough investigation into my claims.  Because my perpetrator has moved himself into a position of authority as a religious leader and counselor within Indiana, I strongly urge you to take action on my part.  He is a danger to society, a danger to the community, and a danger to every child he comes into contact with.

I eagerly look forward and expect to hear from you in the immediate future.

Sincerely,

Ruth Burger

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - Unfinished Justice

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to Exposing the Hypocrite.

*****

Eventually, I was able to get away completely from my parents, but not from my past.  I was a full-fledged cutter by the time I reached adulthood and suicidal thoughts and idealizations were never far from my mind. 

Finally after three hospitalizations for suicide prevention, law enforcement was contacted in November 2006 and a minor investigation ensued to make sure my younger siblings weren’t being molested.  I made the mistake of calling my dad to warn him he was under investigation.  Here is the conversation we had.

Me: “Hey dad, I’m out of the hospital again.  Ummm….I don’t know how to say this, but do you remember what you used to do to me?”

Dad: “Yes.”

Me: “Well, I told them about it and they filed a report.”

Dad: “Why would you do something like that!  Do you want the kids to grow up without a father?  I should’ve seen this coming.  I should’ve known you would do this to me too.  I should’ve known you would seek to destroy me.”

Me:  “Why did you molest me?  Why did you touch me when you punished me for doing less than that with the kids?”

Dad: “I molested you because you molested my children.  But in my defense, I never inserted my finger into your vagina.  I NEVER took your virginity.  And besides, I prayed and confessed to God.  It’s your sin for not forgiving me now.”

Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know.  Goodbye.”

Indiana CPS and police moved against my dad and interviewed my younger siblings.   Although I am within my statute of limitations to press charges,   Indiana has declined to even conduct an investigation into my claims based on destruction of evidence and passage of time. 

Dr. Kenneth Copley is now serving on the Pastoral Staff at Brownsburg Baptist Church as their counselor.  I have decided it is up to me and me alone to tell the truth about Dr. Kenneth Copley and his wife Elizabeth.  They beat and abused their children.  Dr. Kenneth Copley molested his adopted daughter and claims God’s forgiveness as reason to not confess and make this right.  He is the biggest Christian hypocrite I know.  He has tricked thousands of people all over this country into believing he is a “good, godly man” with a desire to help others.  I won’t deny he hasn’t helped people, but the man I know behind the mask is an unrepentant pedophile who continues to hide his wrongs behind “godly ministries.”   This is the first time I have come out publicly and denounced him, his “godly” testimony, and reputation. 

Read Ruth's Letter to Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, detailing the case and the legal shenanigans.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - Exposing the Hypocrite

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to Pushed to Suicide.

*****

Of course my parents found the note and woke me instantly.  Instead of taking me to the hospital and admitting I had a serious problem, they decided to handle it themselves.  That night they poured an entire bottle of Ipecac syrup down my throat and sent me off to work with my dad the next day.  Even his coworkers were concerned as they could hear me continuously vomiting all day long and my dad refused to send me home because I was sick.  I called my Youth Pastor’s wife from work and told her the story.   She told her husband and he called my dad that evening with the request to bring me in for counseling.  My dad refused and forced me to admit to my Youth Pastor that I “hadn’t tried to commit suicide.  I was only trying to get attention. Nothing is wrong with me.”  Afterwards, my dad informed me I was being sent away to Northland Baptist Bible College (NBBC) in two weeks.  I was 16.

I enrolled at NBBC one month shy of my 17th birthday.  Once my roommate walked in and found me counting pills and laying them out so I could swallow them.  I eventually told a couple of students in whispers that I believe I had been molested and told them about my dad.  This was the first time I found the courage to say, “Something bad happened to me.” 

By this age, I knew something of sexual sins.  I was aware of the term rape, but I was bit uncertain about molestation and abuse.  To me, abuse was when you had black eyes and your parents weren’t Christians.  I thought beating meant you had marks everywhere on your body when of course, under Biblical spanking, you should only mark the butt.  I believed molestation to be an act of violence ending in rape.  It took me several years to accept the fact I was molested and not every child molester leaves marks or rapes their victims.  I didn’t understand that pedophiles and their victims can actually have a “good” relationship.  It took me several more years to recognize the fact my parents didn’t “spank”, they beat me brutally and just because you strike a child on the butt instead of the face or arms doesn’t mean there isn’t abuse taking place.

College money ran out and I returned home to live as an adult in my parent’s home.  My mom and I had an unspoken agreement to simply stay out of each others’ way and it worked.  We became…very civil and polite, like strangers.  My dad and I were still close.  However, hearing his porn through my door each night (I lived in the basement now) and seeing his girlfriend (whom I knew as one of his counselee’s from ICBCI days) riding in the car each night my dad came and picked me up from work was too stressful.  So after a year at age 19, I moved out.  The affair was discovered several months later and Ken Copley resigned from ICBCI.

Read the Final Part, Part Nine - Unfinished Justice.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - Pushed to Suicide

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to Everything but Rape.

*****

Naturally, my day-to-day behavior was getting worse.  I was stealing from gas stations, libraries, parents, siblings, etc. etc.  I was lying a lot too and home-life was splintering quickly.  For whatever reason known only to him, my dad abruptly stopped coming into my room and molesting me once I began working for him at age 15 as a secretary at ICBCI.

Even with my dad’s lessons of orgasm and masturbation and R-rated sex-filled movies, I still had questions.  I knew I couldn’t ask anyone so I decided one afternoon to Google “sex” on the computer at work.  I learned a lot that day.  I had heard the terminology “oral sex” and “homosexuality”, so it was mainly these terms I searched for.

In January 2000, my dad found out because a coworker had checked the internet history and discovered my searches.  I denied this vehemently and that night he declared there would never be any hope for me or my future.  My mom had been telling me this for years, but my dad and I were strangely close and I trusted him, even with the molestation.  I mainly trusted him because he always made himself available to me and paid me positive attention. He had never fully verbally belittled me, or at least it was very mild compared to my mom’s verbal abuse.   He was the only adult in my home-life that was nice to me and listened when I needed someone to listen to me.  He was like two different people.  “Night time dad” was bad but “daytime dad” was a safe rock and refuge.  But knowing that BOTH my parents were in agreement and believed there was no hope for me, I swallowed a whole bottle of Tylenol and left a suicide note.

Read Part Eight - Exposing the Hypocrite.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - Everything but Rape

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to The Pedophile Begins to Groom.

*****

Because of my stealing and lying tendencies, my dad decided I shouldn’t even live with them anymore and while traveling on the weekends to different churches all over the country, began to ask people if they would give me a new home.  He even told me he asked from the pulpit if anyone could take me in that didn’t have any children since I was dangerous to them.  At one point, it almost became reality as I was sent to stay with another family as a “test trial” run.  It didn’t work out.

My parents decided to leave ATI and the ITC in September 1995.  We moved to West Baden Springs, Indiana and stayed there for a few months.  My dad was constantly traveling to find a new position for himself so I erroneously thought the worst was over and he would leave me alone.

He received the opportunity to join with Jim Logan and Mark Bubeck and open a non-profit Biblical Counseling Center in Carmel, Indiana.  He named it the International Center for Biblical Counseling of Indiana (ICBCI) and we moved to Carmel in December of 1995.  We had a large house and I was given my own room since I still wasn’t allowed to even speak to my siblings without a parent present.

He began “grooming” me again a few months later.  He used forbidden movies as one way to attract me.  Nearly any movie was “bad” so the opportunity to get around my mom’s rules and watch PG-13 movies was too much for a 13 year-old.  He would go out and rent movies like Terminator (my first R-rated movie), Grease, and the Highlander.  He would come to my room after my mom was asleep and tell me to meet him in the basement because he had a special movie to watch with me.  I’d go down to the basement and he’d have me cuddle up to him.  This was the only “positive” attention I received, and I went gladly. 

Eventually, he’d begin to move me closer and closer, rubbing my leg and moving his hand up my thigh.  Eventually, he would start to play with my breasts and developed the courage to touch my vaginal area.  He would ask me things like, “Does this feel good?”  And would continue to rub and touch till I came to an orgasm.  Then he would say, “Oh, that was nice!  I’m so glad you did that for me.  That was really special.”  Then he’d feel guilty and force me to pray with him.  He would “confess” his sin to God and ask forgiveness.  Then he’d send me off to bed.

His prayers never seemed to work.  Every night at two o’clock he would enter my bedroom.  I would be wrapped in my blankets and I would fake sleeping hoping and praying he would go away.  He never did.  He would pull the blankets off me, remove my clothes, suck on my nipples, and stick his tongue down my ear.  He never tried to force himself on me and never actually raped me, but by this point, it didn’t matter.  The damage was done.

Read Part Seven - Pushed to Suicide.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - The Pedophile Begins to Groom

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to A Curious Child.

*****

During this time at the ITC, my dad started exhibiting strange behavior.  First it was simply cuddling while he cupped my butt.  Then he would hold me and rub himself against me over and over and over again.  He’d make me stand up and wrap my arms around his waist while he held me close and gyrated against me.  Then he received keys that allowed him access to any empty room at the ITC. 

Occasionally, he would enter the room and have me follow him down the hall to a separate, locked room.  Once my older sibling asked him what he needed me for and he said he was praying with me down the hall.  He wasn’t praying, he was holding and groping me through my clothes.  But he insisted he was counseling and praying over me to anyone who asked.

Once, he woke me up in the middle of the night, took me across the hall to an empty room that only he had access too.  He sat down in the chair and begged to see me naked.  He promised he wouldn’t touch; he would only “look.”  I started crying and refused.  He took me back to my room and had me lay spread eagled on my back while he pulled my underwear down and caressed my pubic area while murmuring, “You’re so beautiful.”

I didn’t know this was molestation.  I didn’t know this was sexual abuse.  I didn’t know I was being groomed by a pedophile.  I didn’t even know for sure if what he was doing was WRONG since HE was the one who beat me and separated me for doing far LESS than what he was doing now.  All I knew was that I wanted to kill myself.  I didn’t want to live separated from the family for the rest of my life and I didn’t want my dad touching me.  So I started to fantasize about cutting my wrists, overdosing, or throwing myself off the thirteenth story of the ITC.

During this time, I began to over eat and steal from family members.  This made my mom hate me even more.  She told me things like, “You should never have been born.  I wish I had never laid eyes on you.”  Then of course, to make everything she said “godly,” she would iterate, “And if you lived in the Bible times, we’d have you stoned to death.”  Great.  So on one hand my dad is molesting me while my mother is saying that by God’s mouth and if it was legally possible, I would be put to death at age 11 and 12.  Nice.  In the meantime, my dad was leading me in all sorts of prayers for demonization, giving ground to Satan, and generational curses as means to stop behavior that resulted from his hand. 

Read Part Six - Everything but Rape.

The Hammer Drops: Dr. Kenneth Copley Exposed - A Curious Child

Begin reading the series here.  Or, go back to Severe Homeschooling.

*****

Fast forward several years to age 9 and 10.  At this age, I was undergoing Copley-forced separation from my younger siblings; my older siblings were “serving God” at Bill Gothard’s Indianapolis Training Center, (ITC).  By this time, I had three younger siblings and I shared my room with one of them. I taught her to shoplift and eventually my parents found out and decided I wasn’t fit company for them.  Ken Copley jerked me out of bed one night and told me I was never to be alone with my younger siblings and unless my parents were in the room, I was to always leave.

“Sex”, and anything about my sexuality were “bad” words never to be uttered.  No one bothered to teach me anything about myself; I guess they figured if they never said anything, I would never DO anything or wonder about anything. WRONG!  Curiosity got the better of me and before my parents separated me from the younger ones, my younger sibling and I had started experimenting and looking at each other’s bodies and private areas.  I’ve since been informed by multiple friends and therapists that what my sibling and I engaged in was “normal childhood behavior.”  In my parents’ eyes, I was now a child molester.

Although I was already separated by the time my parents discovered this and the activity had already stopped, my dad gave me fifty swats with the wooden spoon and promised me 100 swats if experimenting ever occurred again.

Eventually, the ban was lifted and I was allowed to play with siblings again.  This only came about AFTER I made a second confession of “faith.”  Apparently, accepting Jesus as Savior was the missing link and now that I was “saved” I was fit for fellowship. 

My dad accepted a position as Staff Counselor with the Indianapolis Training Center and we moved in March of 1994.  The first few months were good, but I messed up again.  I was 11 and still no one had talked to me about puberty and sex.  The only thing I knew from my mother was “bleeding from ‘down there’ will start someday and I will grow hair.”  That was it.  So when the sexual urges started in, I groped a different sibling through her diaper and slapped her bottom. 

My parents found out and I was given 100 swats and separated once again from siblings AND the rest of the family.  We lived in an apartment but the ITC gave my parents two extra rooms across the hall.  The first room was where I spent a year alone.  They would send my older siblings to me with a plate of food.  I ate alone.  I played alone.  I wasn’t permitted to go outside.  The only “outside” activity I saw was through the window and walking to the car on Sunday mornings.

Read Part Five - The Pedophile Begins to Groom.