Begin reading the series here. Or, go back to Exposing the Hypocrite.
Eventually, I was able to get away completely from my parents, but not from my past. I was a full-fledged cutter by the time I reached adulthood and suicidal thoughts and idealizations were never far from my mind.
Finally after three hospitalizations for suicide prevention, law enforcement was contacted in November 2006 and a minor investigation ensued to make sure my younger siblings weren’t being molested. I made the mistake of calling my dad to warn him he was under investigation. Here is the conversation we had.
Me: “Hey dad, I’m out of the hospital again. Ummm….I don’t know how to say this, but do you remember what you used to do to me?”
Dad: “Yes.”
Me: “Well, I told them about it and they filed a report.”
Dad: “Why would you do something like that! Do you want the kids to grow up without a father? I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve known you would do this to me too. I should’ve known you would seek to destroy me.”
Me: “Why did you molest me? Why did you touch me when you punished me for doing less than that with the kids?”
Dad: “I molested you because you molested my children. But in my defense, I never inserted my finger into your vagina. I NEVER took your virginity. And besides, I prayed and confessed to God. It’s your sin for not forgiving me now.”
Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know. Goodbye.”
Indiana CPS and police moved against my dad and interviewed my younger siblings. Although I am within my statute of limitations to press charges, Indiana has declined to even conduct an investigation into my claims based on destruction of evidence and passage of time.
Dr. Kenneth Copley is now serving on the Pastoral Staff at Brownsburg Baptist Church as their counselor. I have decided it is up to me and me alone to tell the truth about Dr. Kenneth Copley and his wife Elizabeth. They beat and abused their children. Dr. Kenneth Copley molested his adopted daughter and claims God’s forgiveness as reason to not confess and make this right. He is the biggest Christian hypocrite I know. He has tricked thousands of people all over this country into believing he is a “good, godly man” with a desire to help others. I won’t deny he hasn’t helped people, but the man I know behind the mask is an unrepentant pedophile who continues to hide his wrongs behind “godly ministries.” This is the first time I have come out publicly and denounced him, his “godly” testimony, and reputation.
Read Ruth's Letter to Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, detailing the case and the legal shenanigans.
*****
Eventually, I was able to get away completely from my parents, but not from my past. I was a full-fledged cutter by the time I reached adulthood and suicidal thoughts and idealizations were never far from my mind.
Finally after three hospitalizations for suicide prevention, law enforcement was contacted in November 2006 and a minor investigation ensued to make sure my younger siblings weren’t being molested. I made the mistake of calling my dad to warn him he was under investigation. Here is the conversation we had.
Me: “Hey dad, I’m out of the hospital again. Ummm….I don’t know how to say this, but do you remember what you used to do to me?”
Dad: “Yes.”
Me: “Well, I told them about it and they filed a report.”
Dad: “Why would you do something like that! Do you want the kids to grow up without a father? I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve known you would do this to me too. I should’ve known you would seek to destroy me.”
Me: “Why did you molest me? Why did you touch me when you punished me for doing less than that with the kids?”
Dad: “I molested you because you molested my children. But in my defense, I never inserted my finger into your vagina. I NEVER took your virginity. And besides, I prayed and confessed to God. It’s your sin for not forgiving me now.”
Me: “Well, I just wanted you to know. Goodbye.”
Indiana CPS and police moved against my dad and interviewed my younger siblings. Although I am within my statute of limitations to press charges, Indiana has declined to even conduct an investigation into my claims based on destruction of evidence and passage of time.
Dr. Kenneth Copley is now serving on the Pastoral Staff at Brownsburg Baptist Church as their counselor. I have decided it is up to me and me alone to tell the truth about Dr. Kenneth Copley and his wife Elizabeth. They beat and abused their children. Dr. Kenneth Copley molested his adopted daughter and claims God’s forgiveness as reason to not confess and make this right. He is the biggest Christian hypocrite I know. He has tricked thousands of people all over this country into believing he is a “good, godly man” with a desire to help others. I won’t deny he hasn’t helped people, but the man I know behind the mask is an unrepentant pedophile who continues to hide his wrongs behind “godly ministries.” This is the first time I have come out publicly and denounced him, his “godly” testimony, and reputation.
Read Ruth's Letter to Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, detailing the case and the legal shenanigans.
Wow. I'm so sorry. Thank you for coming forward.
ReplyDeleteWow that is so wrong! I'm so glad you were unsuccessful in your suicide attempts and that you've exposed what he's done. You have amazing strength and courage
ReplyDeleteOh <3
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather groomed me too, and said much of the same stuff.I grew up in the cooneyite group.So many other kids like me and the ministry still sweeps it under the carpet.Thank you for sharing, it helps me validate my feelings about the whole thing.It's having to keep it secret that makes it worse.
I have had issues with eating, and self harm too.
This has me in tears. This is wrong. Can the media step in and start asking the State of Indiana why they are doing nothing?
ReplyDeleteI don't have the words to express how I feel, but I hope that you are able to recover, that he gets what he deserves, and that your siblings find saftey.
ReplyDeleteI hope he goes to jail and I really, really hope you find a lot of healing. Just the other day I heard a song called Hell is for Children by Pat Benatar and it made me so sad, but this makes me cry. i wish there was some way I could help you.
ReplyDeleteL
I feel sick. I am so sorry you had such a horrible excuse for a family. I will always be a follower of Christ, but I am beginning to believe that religion itself is fundamentally evil. I don't think Christ was a supporter of organized religion.
ReplyDeleteMrs. Searching...this is where I am as well. I cannot step one foot into a church without getting physically sick to my stomach. When I tell people that I have no religion, but I have a belief, they chastise me and tell me that I am ungodly and an abomination. I really don't care about their opinion. I only care about God's opinion, and whether He loves me. Organized religion IS fundamentally evil, created by man, not God. These horrible stories are everywhere, and as I grieve for the loss of her childhood innocence, I also grieve for the thousands of children still stuck in these situations. People who use the Bible to abuse children and "justify" their sick needs are not the christians I believe that God wants to live with Him for eternity. The blessing is that in the end, they WILL get what they deserve.
DeleteMy husband and I are coming to the same conclusion. Organized religion is an abuse of the teachings of Christ in so many ways. Ugh. Just ugh.
DeleteI completely agree with above statements. Again. I have no words. I'm still trying to process. I too experienced some things, but I was technically an adult, but emotionally a child. So I still feel guilty...tho I don't know how I would've escaped since we had already been brainwashed....sick. A.R.
DeleteOh my god. I am so filled with rage against your parents! And as for your father - he needs castrating and I don't mind saying I'd gladly do as much to the bastard myself. The same thing happened to my sister, abused by our wonderful, godly stepfather who raised us, and he too self-righteously told us that he didn't have sex with her, he wanted to SO badly, but he would never do that to his family. Yeah, great Christian, him...
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you so much for speaking out about this. I'm so sorry for what you've been through.
Has anyone contacted this church to be certain they're aware that they're employing a pedophile?!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you went through this experience. My heart absolutely grieves for you. May you find healing.
Speechless. I am SO sorry. I can't even imagine how messed up I would feel if that was my childhood. I hope that now you have all the support and care that you need and deserve....the most I can do is send you an internet-hug. :'(
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, yes an email has been sent to the church. Hopefully their eyes are opened.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I believe the church protects those of their own kind. An email was sent in the last year to a church of a man known to have committed adultery, yet was being selected as a deacon of the church. The coverup and protection that the church gives it's abusers, pedophiles and adulterers is unprecedented. IFB churches area notorious for this kind of behavior.
DeleteAnon: Keep in mind, adultery is not taboo in the general culture. Thus, there is no outrage outside of a closed church situation with that sort of "sin". On the other hand, this is pedophilia. He has a lot more authority to answer to than God with that filthy activity.
DeleteBut Anons point, that Christians look the other way when one of their pets is accused of wrong-doing, is still valid.
DeleteYep. I completely agree.
DeleteOh my gosh. I pray he is fully exposed and justice is served for what he did...nobody should ever go through that, especially not at the hands of someone who claims to follow Christ.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being courageous. *hug* God bless.
Chazak,
- Hannah
Sick. Disgusting. Revolting. Indiana is a state that cloaks people like this. So much of this was dejavu. I hope this gets exposure far and wide.
ReplyDeleteThese people are unbelievably despicable.
ReplyDeleteAnd you are so courageous. Thank you for speaking up.
Oh this is horrible. It doesn't matter who does it, when, or what their religious denomination. It's a shame that the state won't pursue this. And even more so that there even IS a statute of limitations for something so terrible! I just want you to know that there are many, many people on your side and WE believe you even if their church won't. I think some organizations such as RAINN could be contacted to spread the word about this; molestation by a parent is actually not that uncommon unfortunately and people really don't realize just how many children have been victims of this because they don't have the courage to speak up. Thank you for being brave enough to write this and relive some very very dark times. It will be for the greater good to make this story known. I wish you the best of luck.
ReplyDeletei held off on commenting until i had read the entire series and tears of horror were running down my face.
ReplyDeleteRuth, you are so, so brave. i cannot even begin to tell you how amazing this is, to read of a victim being so bold against her molester.
i wish you all the luck in the world in sending this sick bastard where he belongs.
I am so sorry. No child should be subjected to that type of abuse. I understand that Dr. Copley was thrown out of ATI/IBLP over his affair at the ITC and that he continued to be untruthful about these situations. I am just sorry that the leadership continued to protect him for years even when there were concerns. In my observations, this is the ATI/IBLP way--protect anyone in leadership at all costs.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, the entire system is under the judgement of God. The people in it have a "pearl of great price" not in Jesus but in "principles." They are deceived in that they CANNOT let go of the system yet become facilitators of ungodly behavior by virtue of remaining in neutral when they KNOW that there are abuses.
The leadership in these organizations have a choice before them: Repentence vs. reputation. History shows that most organizations, when presented these options, choose reputation nearly every time. Revival comes when we choose repentence over reputation.
To be blunt, these organizations will die because it is nearly impossible for them to turn around (repent). If the people inside truly choose repentence, the organization (and its teachings) will need to change so dramatically that the organization will most likely die.
The most critical problem is that they have stood against true revival for so long that they will likely continue to be steadfast in their resistance to God's Spirit. It is too humbling to do otherwise.
Revival died when we allowed ourselves to be beat into submission by the mace of reputation in the hand of the giant of pride, then conquered, and thrown into the dungeon of resignation, guilt, and powerlessness. This is not the picture of the victorious Christian.
Let's choose repentence against reputation.
I wish they would die. You are more optimistic than I. I predict they will keep slogging away, hopefully waning in numbers, but they'll never disappear. They will continue to maintain their rightness in doctrine and righteousness in conduct, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. They wouldn't admit to any wrong-doing unless you had secret videotape proof of the pedophilia/sexual deviance/child abuse, and then, THEN...
Deletethey would cry that it was taken out of context, misunderstood, or wasn't as bad as it looks.
Remember the judge who beat his daughter for illegal downloads? Those were his words and the words of thousands of likewise abusive parents who came to his defense.
Of the man who shot his daughter's laptop? Same thing.
Nope, I am not as optimistic as you.
This is the same Kenneth Copley who wrote The Great Deceiver in 2001, right?? Un.be.lieveable.
ReplyDeleteYes. One and the same. Ironic, no?
DeleteI'm afraid of Elizabeth Copley too. Can you tell us - are they still married? Is she still disciplining the other children?
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that the police are declining to investigate BECAUSE YOU WERE ADOPTED!!! Hear me out on this...
ReplyDeleteAdoptees are already considered to be tainted goods in many circles. Add to this the fact that adoptees have much higher rates of mental illness and the fact that your family probably all made statements backing up your mental illness (real or supposed) and I get the impression that the police and CPS were convinced that you are merely a bitter adoptee with a chip on your shoulder.
Anonymous: My parents are still married. There is only one "child" remaining in the home and she is...16 or 17 now. She'll be a senior in high school this year. My youngest sibling has NEVER witnessed the abuse within the home. She had a VERY different environment from the rest of us. The parents I knew and the ones she knows are like two different people. I have no explanation to offer as to "why." I've given up trying to figure out what goes on inside my parents' heads.
ReplyDeleteLucrezaborgia: I love your screename, btw! I'll address the case in the next post or the one after this one.
I wrote a reply, but I think it was too long, and it wouldn't send.
DeleteI know where those parents were, at least the mom, and I'm making it my aim, after reading this today, to write a book that will get parents like this to see why this is error (for the love of the children Jesus loves!), how to stop being this kind of parent (begin truly trusting God in letting Him raise the kids, and in realizing they are being allowed by God to act these ways FOR THE TRAINING OF THE PARENTS!), and how to publicly come clean so the name of Christ is not blasphemed !!!
I Just finished reading and... A: I am so so soooo sorry that they did those deplorable things to you. The physical abuse, the molestation, the verbal abuse, the... everything. I am so sorry. and B: I am so sad that they claim to love Jesus and act as if their behavior is what he would want. I NEVER WANT ANY CHILD TO THINK GOD WANTS THAT FOR THEM!!! Oh my gosh.. I am so angry and sad. I am sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I hope and plan to adopt... because we want to love on kids that need love. And reading your story makes me even more want to foster and adopt to give kids with stories like your's a safe, happy, loving, childhood... :(
BTW, I don't care WHAT you did between 6 months and 3 years there is no "behavior" in a toddler/preschooler that warrants giving up on that child. EVER! Maybe if you were 12 and trying to stab little kids or burned the house down or something I could see... no no... I still can't see just giving up on a kid. There is a HUGE difference between telling a child "you're not worthy for my family" and "I don't know how to help you - let's find someone who can." and get therapy, maybe even in patient, but you don't dump a kid. Although... I wish the Copley's had just "sent you away" or put you back in foster care or something.
I am so sorry.
Ruth, I am so sorry. I spent a couple of years under Ken Coppley's counsel for my own history of being ritually abused and raped as a kid. I thought he was helping me, but he only confused things. I totally believe your story, and am enraged that the legal system isn't bringing him to justice. During my last session with him, he held my hand and offered to hold me in his arms, on his lap. I thought at the time he was just being fatherly. It didn't occur to me until a couple of years ago that that was completely inappropriate behavior for a therapist. Again, I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention, you never would have "molested" your sibling (read: groped them) if your adoptive parents had even bothered to tell you about budding sexual urges and what to do with them, in a constructive way. But no, they had to make sex the Voldemort of your household. And besides, you groping a sibling is in no way justification for him doing that to you.
ReplyDelete