Random Writings

Listed here, you'll find many of my random thoughts and ideas, daily life, family stories, and creative pieces.

Bested by My Own Son

I hate yard work.  But, maybe if I was smarter about it - like Frederic - I might begin to love it.

A Daddy's Mistake

A bad plan turns worse as the sun beats down on a grassy plain - until the path floods with water.

College is for Adults, Not Child-Students

A reaction to the petty nature of Bob Jones University's student handbook. A plug for Elizabeth Esther too.

The Mournful Wail of the Train Horn

Some thoughts on what made me go to sleep as a child and what might translate to my quality of sleep as an adult.

Will it be Corn Flakes or Cheerios?

Some burning thoughts inside my head about people and the prejudices against them.

How Does Emily Elizabeth Clean Up Clifford's Poops?

Ever wondered how Clifford, The Big Red Dog goes potty?  Here's your chance to try and reconcile the facts, as well as sound off on a theory.

That Horrid Customer Who Happens to be In Your Party

Ever gone to a restaurant with someone who made you want to crawl under the table and disappear?  If so, here is my solution.

Important People Aren't Really That Scary

This is a truism I have found as I grow older.  Excerpt: "Some of the most confident people are the most insecure."  So go out and invite the president to dinner and serve turkey legs.

My Dear Beard...Ok...My Patch of Scruff

I love the hair on my face because all three of my brothers are jealous of it.  It's the only thing I have that they don't.  Well, other than the hottest wife around and the best in certain areas too.  Enjoy my thoughts on facial hair.

The Top 10 Things I Love About My Wife

Yes.  If you're around here long, I love my wife.  I have thousands of reasons, but these are the top 10.

Marriage Without Sex is Meaningless

Exactly how I see my relationship with my adorable bride, Kristine.  But, in light of a conversation I once had with a wise (and old) woman, it may not be this way in the future.  That terrifies me.

Crispy Banana Bread

My killer recipe for banana bread.  Make it with a crowd of kids or it won't work.

An Open Letter to Those Who Smashed My Pumpkins

I was looking forward to smashing my own pumpkins the day after Halloween.

The Simple Joys of Life: Sunday, June 26, 2011
The Simple Joys of Life: Wednesday, June 29, 2011
The Stars Always Amaze Me
The Simple Joys of Life: Saturday, July 2, 2011
The Simple Joys of Life: Somewhere in Illinois, 2009

Little stories that bring the tears and smiles to my face.  Learning experiences and eurekas for me.

The Horrors of My Tooth Dreams

Do you ever dream of your teeth falling out or crumbling when you lick them with your tongue?  I do, all the time!

When Love Begins

Story of my observations of a play I took my kids to.  Very romantic.

A Devastated Little Boy

Frederic and Halloween.  Old man and a joke.  The drama ensues.

The Tale of Two Families

In the summer of 2011, we took a trip to Oklahoma and stopped in St. Louis to visit a family at the Arch.  This is a story of what we saw.

Kids Can't Have Fun Anymore

Excerpt: "Bring us back violence.  Bring us back immoral capitalism.  Give us pictures of scantily clad rabbits and pigs with too much lipstick."  Enjoy.

Not Sure I Can Handle It

A foreboding story of what is to come in my future, based on my eldest daughter's (9) reaction to her personal beautification.

Who Is He?

A college fluff piece about the eccentric writer, Ander Monson.

A Letter to My Wife

This is a collection of my raw thoughts after a dearly beloved coworker passed away.  I tend to reflect on the real meaning of life whenever someone close to me dies.  One of the most popular non-religious, a-political posts on Incongruous Circumspection.

Walking In Pipestone

My favorite college fluff piece.  This piece solidified a solid grade in a stupid walking class and made the day of the grad student who hated teaching it.

It's My Birthday - Doh!

I can be an insensitive prick sometimes and my birthday doesn't cause that to disappear.  This story details a chain of events that led to my asinine foot-in-mouth disease.

I'm Sick of This Meager Existence

An ode to my procrastination and laziness.  I haven't improved.

We Bought a Bloody Rainforest!

An angst piece about my family's struggle with our over-forested new property.  Excerpt: "But, the trees!  There are so many of them.  I don't know the brands, so I'll just name them by color.  There are about twenty brown trunked ones with green leaves, a grove of brown ones with smooth green needles, a white trunked one with really cool green leaves, and a bunch of really bushy brown ones that have these really smelly purple flowers all over them."

Second Base: The Easiest Position in Softball

I've been playing softball with a team fro three years now.  My position is second base.  I have been improving admirably in my view but still take part in some self-instigated boneheaded mistakes.  An easy read.

Father's Day, Undeserved

A reflection on my status as a father.  Excerpt: "Why was my wife crying when she had told me that she wanted a large family?  Why was I indifferent to every single child that entered our lives?  Why did we agree on a perfect number of twenty-nine children and then grief strikes when we discovered that we were coming up on six?"

The Pimple: Life's Neglected Beauty Mark

Pimples are nice!  Stop popping them!

I Want to Write a Book

I really want to write a book but I have no idea what to write about.  I just lay out all my thoughts on the subject.

Renaya, the Writer

Renaya, my daughter wrote a story on scratch paper while sitting in Kristine's college class.  She did an awesome job.