Second Base: The Easiest Position in Softball

Second base is simple.  There are no throws to dig out across the diamond.  Most balls are hit to third or short and the rest hit the outfield.  On a double play comebacker to the pitcher, the shortstop takes the bag and then "twists it" to first.  Most infield pops can easily be handled by the pitcher or shortstop.  The catcher gets all the smack-downs and the outfielders have to use their speed and abuse their bodies by running into the fence and making all-out dives.

Yes, the life of a second baseman is easy.  All he needs to do is take the shovel pass from short and flip it to first.  Most outs are a simple grab of a soft toss.  Every once in a while, second base has to go play the simple cut-off guy in the outfield grass and then just throws it where the infield commander yells for him to throw the ball.

So, if it's that easy, why am I so bad at it?

Last night, my softball team went up against our fierce rivals.  Our team has been together for three years and during that time, we have grown into a cohesive team unit.  Each of us knows the job we have to do and just about all of us do it well. All of us, that is, except me.

Sure, I can hit.  I can run.  And I can even do a take-out slide at second base.  I know how to run down the second base line and pretend to forget to peel off during a double play so the second baseman has to wait on the throw to first.  I did that successfully twice last night.  I know how to take a ball or two and then wait for my meatball pitch.  I definitely know how to cheer on my teammates and slap them hard on the back and the top of their heads.  I am good at trying to fire the bench up.

But, my defense.....

Last night, out of nine innings, I had eight good ones, defensively.  The unspeakable inning commenced as follows:

Lead-off hitter. A hot grounder was headed my way.  I set myself, dropped my glove to the flat flight of the ball and watched it fly right between my legs.  He ended up on second with a two-base error.

Oh!  You think that's funny!  How about this one, then.  Another hot shot to my right.  I heard short stop yell my name and I went for it hard.  I got the ball in my glove and the ball and glove kept going.  The glove stayed on my hand while the ball, considerably slower now, rolled around the shallow outfield, teasing the charging center-right fielder.  Two runs scored.

And if that wasn't bad enough,  an opponent hit a sharp single in the air out to center right field.  I went out as fast as my long lopey legs could carry me.  As the cut-off, our center-right fielder threw a perfect bean, right into my old crappy glove.  As I caught the ball, I heard these words...


THREE!  HOME..HOME!  THREEEEEEEE!  THREEEEEE!!!  NO HOOOME!!!!  THREEEEEE!  So, naturally, I twisted around, didn't plant myself, and threw the ball right between those two bases, splitting the difference.  After all, I did what I was told to do, right?  The bases were cleared with the hitter ending up at third.  Three more runs.

Pathetic. I worked for thirty one years to build up my whipsaw of an arm (by drinking Mountain Dew and eating Snickers and Pearson Salted Nut Rolls) to be able to throw twenty feet at a good clip and I blew the play that might have saved the season for us.  DOH!

Well.  Let's look at the bright side - I didn't get an oblique strain and my bilateral leg weakness is getting better (inside joke for the remaining Minnesota Twins fans.).

I can't wait until next game to redeem myself.

Until then, I'll just click these red shoes together and say, "Second base is simple...Second base is simple...Second base is simple....Secon..."