Monday, May 23, 2011

The Rogue "pastoral" Team: Act Four wherein Annah Threatens To Kill Zach

Start from Act One
Incongruous Circumspection was threatened by Mark and Annah's Henchman! 
Aww...the Henchman Apologizes...Sort of 
Mark Reid Tries to Preach Out of a Jam

In Act Three, Annah Reid summed up the life of Joseph by inserting her ideas into the story, rather than reading the story for what it was.  This is the formula for the “theology” of Christian hierarchy.  It’s stupid.  It’s asinine.  It’s confusing.  In the end, the teacher of this crap reaps all the rewards she wants – full and unquestioned obedience.

In this act, she gets really weird.  She rambles and tries to toss in a bunch of unrelated points to make a conclusion that never really concludes.  I’ll attempt to translate and of course, add my thoughts.

Let’s move forward…

Annah continued:  Your mom, you might think God gave you the wrong mom – maybe not. Maybe you don't [have the wrong mom]. He gave you the right mom. God did. I'll tell you why. Because God is trying to work in your character. He'll deal with her. He's dealing with you. He's dealing with you, Zach, in honoring a father and mother – honoring a mom when she says, "No", "Yes", whatever, it doesn't matter what you think. It's not up to the child. Well, can I or can't I know if it's abusive? Wrong! It can't be abusive…

I grew up with Zach.  My mom and dad were divorced in 1987 when I was seven and Zach was two.  Before long, my mother discovered Billy Boy G. (the almighty Bill Gothard) and many other patriarchal teachers and pamphlets.

I remember one pamphlet.  It was pink.  It contained a few hundred words that would most likely resemble a how-to book by Michael Pearl.  It sang the virtues of spanking your children and then hugging them after you beat them to show that you really did love them, even though you hit them.  It was an eye opener for my mother and she decided to practice on us right then and there.

Yes.  You read that right.  My six siblings and I had done nothing wrong that day, which was unusual at best, and she decided to beat us and then love us to get some practice swings and squeezes in.

This began years of abuse which included beating heavy wooden brushes on our heads, too many times to count.  We were spanked in intervals of six, which grew to intervals of eighteen, which grew to intervals of three times eighteen, which grew to intervals of three times eighteen on our bare behinds.  This lasted until the oldest of us was twenty five.  I got out of that hell hole when I was nineteen years old.  I could go on for hours, detailing the horrible acts of my mother – whom I love dearly – but what I have said already is enough to prove a point.

What on earth does Annah think she is telling Zach that our mother’s actions weren’t abuse?  Annah is sick and very dangerous.  If she is telling Zach to shake it off and honor his mother, while denying that what she did to him for years was abuse, I fear for all the other children she has under her tutelage.  Children that aren’t an adult like Zach and have nowhere to go.  Would she also tell them to suck it up and be abused by their parents and enjoy it?  After all, it’s building character!

…But Joseph was abused….

Huh?  Zach wasn’t abused but Joseph was?  Not following…

…Chains around his feet….

Um, chains around his feet?  Really?  Where is that in the story of Joseph?

…Walked through a desert. Coat taken off…

Walked through a desert?  Seriously, where is THAT in the story of Joseph.  This narration is getting too wordy to try to prove a point that just ain’t there. 

Also, if you had to walk through the desert, wouldn’t you be blessing your brothers for taking it off and ripping it to pieces?  I hope Annah knows that its kinda hot in the desert sun.  A coat is not a good idea.

…[Had to] go serve the executor of the nation. [The executor would say], "Smart off to me, you get your head cut off." …

Now this is USDA Choice Grade A material!  Where is THAT in the story of Joseph????????!!!!

Let’s see.  Joseph was blessed by God in everything he did.  So Potiphar gave him charge of everything he had, except for his food.  Potiphar’s wife got all horny and tried to jump Joseph’s bones.  Joseph would have none of it.  And what did Potiphar do?  He threw Joseph in prison.  So, according to what Potiphar was told, Joseph messed around with his wife.  Joseph got prison.  And Annah says that a simple mouthing off would be grounds for Potiphar to cut Joseph’s head off?  Again, Annah makes a point that just isn’t there.

But, it gets worse.  This is actually a very sinister statement.  Essentially, Annah is threatening Zach.  She is putting herself and Mark in the place of Potiphar and Zach would be Joseph.   Then, she says, “Mouth off to us and you get your head chopped off!”   Sucks for her that she lives in America and that sort of action is a tad frowned upon.

…He (Joseph) was with the executor.  Potiphar was the chief executor…

Why does she have to keep reminding Zach of that?

…He (Joseph) had to learn humility….

Annah.  Let me repeat what I have said already.  JOSEPH DID NOT HAVE TO LEARN HUMILITY!  Nowhere in that story was there a reference to Joseph’s insubordination or pride that needed to be wrung out of him.

...He probably had to like – I was talking to Michelle (another member of Freedom Christian Center) yesterday: some teacher was yelling at her, she (Michelle) said, "Annah, I just shut my mouth. I wanted so bad to react to her." But see, God's trying to teach us all humility.

Sure.  Bring in a straw man…er…woman.  This is a classic debate move.  When you seem to not be getting your point across, add an excerpt of another person that got the picture better than your debate opponent.

This is bad, though.  Annah is teaching her underlings that Christians are supposed to let others walk all over them.  Christians are not supposed to argue their point.  Christians are supposed to never get angry, but rather straighten their arms flat against their sides, take a deep breath, and let the punches come.

There are many ways to react to an idiot yelling at you.  But looking at people being idiots as God molding humility in you is just plain sick.  We must answer folly with folly.  Sure, love people, as Christ commanded.  Wouldn’t it be love if we told others where they could improve, i.e., that teacher that was yelling at Michelle?   According to Annah, it is more righteous to enable them.

Why is this important to Annah?  Because she is the teacher yelling and Zach is Michelle.  That is her point.  She wants to set up all her subordinates to take it on the chin when she reprimands them.  That’s humility, right?

…And so our pride is only stripped off by God putting us through the test of submission.  And if you can't submit, then you can't rule.  You can't rule.  If you can't submit, you can't rule…

What the …??!!!!  Seriously?  Wow.  If you can’t submit, you can’t rule.  You can’t rule unless you submit.  And, Zach, by the way, YOU CAN’T RULE!!!! Where does this come from?

Galatians 5:13 - 15:  

13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.

Where does rule come in here?  We’re called to love, serve, and treat people like we want ourselves treated.

Let’s name a few people who ruled just fine and never submitted, whatever that means.

·         Attila the Hun
·         Ivan the Terrible
·         Benito Mussolini
·         Mao Zedong
·         Idi Amin
·         Leopold II of Belgium
·         Josef Stalin
·         Queen Ranavalona I of Madagascar
·         Adolf Hitler
·         Vlad III the Impaler

You get the point.  None of these people learned humility or how to submit – and yet they ruled.  They were pure evil to boot.  But, that doesn’t prove Annah is right.  They still ruled, even though they were evil.

But, we don’t need to get comical to again understand what Annah is saying here:

She learned to submit (really?), so now she has the right to rule.  Whatever.  Be a servant of all.  Love others and you will do what Christ asked you to.  Forget this stupid hierarchical system of Christianity.

…And so all of – because I was just reading this article on loyalty that Bob Sorgee gave, and he was a worship leader, he was a pastor of a huge church; he lost his voice. God said, "Do you know what? You don't get a voice anymore." He took his voice away from him, and he has not been able to sing or lead worship for years. (Zach says: To my understanding, Bob Sorgee blew out his vocal cords by giving a really loud shout one day, and hasn't recovered from his injury) And all he can do now is write books on the voice of God. Not talk. And it's humbling for him. I mean, he had to go through the fire. But what he was saying is that loyalty and the stripping off is that God uses our circumstance to humble us…

Don’t know much about Bobby.  But, from what I see here, I don’t want any of it, if that is what he preaches.  He did something stupid by yelling too loud and killing his voice for good, if that in fact happened.  Why would we blame God for our mistakes? 

Let’s do a reinterpretation of this:  Bobby blew out his cords by yellin’ a serious shoutin’ scream.  He realized his voice wasn’t coming back.  He had found pleasure in preaching and teaching and singing, but now it was all lost.  So, rather than feel sorry for himself, he decided to play the hand that was dealt to him and began a ministry of writing.  

Maybe Bobby deemed not being able to sing or speak as humbling.  That’s an awesome story on his part.  But, it doesn’t prove a principle that we will only learn humility when the almighty evil God strikes us down one day.  Why do people create this theology where God is up there throwing lightning bolts like Zeus?  If you falter – BAM!  If you trip – BAM!  If you don’t smile – BAM!  If you think naughty thoughts – BAM!  If you hate your brother - BAM!

Whatever.  You’re covered.  Enjoy the hell out of it.  And I mean that literally.

You’ll find a common thread in “leaders” like Annah.  Everyone ELSE needs to learn humility and submission – not the leader!  They are in the position they are in BECAUSE they already mastered that stuff.  The wheels start to fall off the train when some of their subordinates master submission and humility and then start inserting their ideas and disagreements.  Then, that whole philosophy starts to turn into one heck of a pretzel.

When someone’s theology has more clauses than Arnold and Maria’s prenup, it’s time to figure it out by yourself.  Don’t worry, we all have the Holy Spirit to guide us in that process.  We don’t need the strong man or woman.

...But if Joseph would've reared his head to Potiphar, reared his head to the rulers down in the prison – you know, like, I don't know if you – did you honor me and listen to that CD?

Did you fall out of your chair yet?  Annah is threatening Zach again.  If I were Zach, I would break down the door to her office and steal all her machetes and firearms she has hidden away in her church closet, waiting for the day when she forces her followers to drink the kool-aid while waiting for the ship behind the comet.  This is really dangerous talk.  Pathetic.  Cowardice.

It’s also pure, unadulterated bullcrap.  We’ve been over the fact that Joseph wasn’t a prideful nut job and Potiphar cutting Joseph’s head off for insubordination was inconsistent with the reality of the text.

But, Annah cutting Zach’s head off because he didn’t listen to the CD is more believable.  There is a small problem here – Zach hasn’t even told her whether or not he listened to the CD on Joseph.


As I said, it’s getting worse.  Annah Reid is proving herself to be a psychopath.  She has threatened figurative murder for Zach’s rebellion and dishonor.  She has assumed Zach didn’t listen to a CD she asked him to listen to.  The only reason she wanted him to listen to it is because she felt it strengthened her cultic case for Annah being in authority over her “worthless, prideful, un-submissive, Christian children.”

Act Five will reveal that Annah is God.


  1. What. Is. Going. On.

    I cannot believe these people!

  2. Andrea, it gets worse. Much worse. I guarantee you will fall out of your chair in Act Five.

  3. I've always found that "Honor thy Father and thy Mother" bit can be a tad misleading to some. Does it say obey without question? Nope. Does it suggest that parents are NEVER wrong, and that children MUST obey, even if the parents guidance is evil? 'Fraid not.

    Here's an interesting twist on the idea: Is it more honoring to your parents to obey them blindly in an unwise course, or to put a stop to their ridiculous antics, the shame they unknowingly bring down on their own heads, by refusing to obey?

  4. Also, there seems to be a glaring blindness concerning the definition of honor. Honor is not synonomous with blind, unquestioning obedience. It is not, it never has been, and it never will. Honor is simply the respect due to a person's station and character. Only it's hard to form that thought on your own when someone is breathing all down your neck and barking, "Did you honor me? Did you do as you were told?"

  5. I hope this has a good, ya know, your brother told them to kiss his @$$ and took his talent somewhere he was actually allowed to use it.

  6. This was so recent, the next piece of history is still unfolding. Zach has a personal excerpt at the end of this series and I will try and get more current events out of him. I feel the exact same way, Darcy. Thanks for reading!

  7. I could learn a thing or two from Zach. He's so much more gracious than I would ever be. :)

  8. Oh, my, I've just read through this whole series. I used to be a part of Harold Eatmon's ministry...ahem... and was given the axe,much like happens at Mark and Annah's. My husband and I were going to meet and talk about God calling us elsewhere, and the day before, we got kicked off the team. Pretty awesome. Anyway... I've had a few run ins with Annah at HEMI, and I always thought she was certifiably insane. My fondest memory was walking into the ladies room at HEMI to find her brushing her teeth with a tampon. So, get that mental picture every time you read her name in this series.