Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Pimple: Life's Neglected Beauty Mark

In our forward, long term looking society, we tend to forget about the here and now.  We look at ourselves in the mirror and imagine our bodies twenty years down the road - droopy and sagging in all the in all the wrong places. 

We think of all the years that have passed and imagine the taut skin of our cheeks, the smaller ears, the lack of hair sticking out of every orifice on our face.  Our mind wanders to our younger days where we were able to run fifty miles with nary a breath of air or a sip of water.  We used to be able to play football, basketball, tennis, softball, and swim forty laps, all in one day.  Our legs would get tired, but a good night of sleep would cure that.

Our voracious appetite the next morning would serve to grow muscle, rather than improve the hiding ability of our belly button lint.  We used to be able to see our feet.  Our toenails weren't yellow on the sides and the paint on them would last for weeks, not days.  I, for one, have never painted my toes, but others have done it for me.

While thinking all these thoughts in the wee hours of the morning, we see a pimple, the size of one of our nostrils, sticking out on our forehead, just below the hairline.  We think, "That's where that headache was coming from!"  Every time our brow was furled, there was a sharp pain that radiated from the middle of our forehead to the tip of our scalp.  This morning, our glasses slipped off of our nose faster than normal.

We think about our next steps.  Two fingers, one from each hand, slowly lift upwards from their hanging position and get into a squeezing slant. 

But wait!  Don't do it!

Have you ever considered the purpose of a pimple?  The fact that it isn't a long term item on your body.  Boobs are perky and then droop over time.  Stomachs are hard and flat and yet grow hard and round and then become flabby around our pelvis.  Our butt is round and taut until it is square and flat with all the sitting over the years.  Hair grows like crazy then turns gray and falls off, leaving an ever expanding shiny bald spot on our heads.  Wigs and toupees get dusty and fly off in a windstorm or when someone sneezes,  All these things that we watch on ourselves do nothing but hurt our feelings.

Even while were young, keeping our bodies in shape has the same effect on our psyche.  One inch of skin pinched between our fingers means that we must eat salads for a fortnight and exercise three more times than usual during the week.  More long term misery.

But a pimple.  It is a sign of our fleeting selves.  Something that can be enjoyed for a day or two and never thought of again.  The pain that we must endure to enjoy this act of God only lasts for the beginning phase of the zit and ends when it grows into a large whitehead, oozing puss from several holes.  It is a beauty mark.  Something of ourselves that we do not have to spend hours and months and years, fashioning to everyone else's liking. 

Depending on where it is located, it may even serve some additional benefits.  If it is on one of our rear cheeks, the grease that emanates from it can ease our sliding on and off a toilet seat.  This is especially helpful for those with a bad back or sore knees.  If it is on our head, we have the pleasure of looking at this beauty mark for hours on end, admiring what we don't have to work for and still be gorgeous.  If it is on our back, it causes our masseuse to move her hand in circles around it, which gives us a superior massage.  If it is between our toes, we don't wear high heels or non-breathing shoes and our feet thank us.  Name anywhere on your body that a pimple may be - save a few nameless areas - and you can see the pros.

People.  Leave that pimple.  Society may look at it and grumble, cringe, and even throw up, but know that you are beautiful.  Your fleeting beauty mark that you never once had to strive for proves it.


  1. The Pimple Anthem. Quite likely the grossest blog post I've ever read. Ranking right up there with the blog of the dermatologist describing a sebaceous cyst he removed that day from someone's heinie. He had pictures, though. :D

  2. LOL! Thanks! Just wanted to write a fluff piece for once.

  3. Bwahahaha! This is awesome! Disgusting, but awesome. I have a vivid imagination, so the mental picture of a greasy toilet seat made me throw up in a mouth a little, but that's fleeting, too. :)

  4. You certainly have a very interesting perspective on youth and beauty. With all the diet and exercise people do, you can't help but wonder if it's really all worth it if it's fleeting and temporary.

  5. Yes. Its easy to critique it when you're ugly and old, as I am.

  6. I have zit radar according to my kids. I can spot one on my husbands back 30 feet away. No un-popped ones on my watch. Yeah, I'm mean like that.

  7. I do the same thing to my husband. Not a single back zit left unpopped. It drives him absolutely insane, but I pop his pimples so he doesn't have to deal with them.

    I'm so put upon.

  8. You, sir, owe me a new computer...

    Or someway to clean all the regurgitation from my roast beef, mustard, mayo on wheat bread sandwich I had for lunch...

    And as I was going to post this, typing in the captcha letters, my lovely wife has just made known my disgust and her love for these things...