Saturday, March 19, 2011

Kids Can't Have Fun Anymore

When I was a kid, Saturday morning consisted of Looney Tunes and Dukes of Hazard.  And I turned out just fine.  I can read, write, think, speak Spanish, and dance with purple dinosaurs, all without external inputs that convince me at a young impressionable age that those things are important.

I went to the doctor the other day with my squirts and they begged to go watch the flat screen television, blaring out cartoons.  Cartoons?  If you call Dora the Explorer, Bob the Builder, Curious George, and Clifford...cartoons.

Cartoons should be fun!  Kids don't need a shallow moral message every time they watch something that is supposed to be baseless and pointless fun (Looney Tunes).  They don't need to learn to speak a hybrid form of Spanish that would get you kicked out of any Spanish speaking neighborhood for blatant disrespect (Dora the Explorer).  They don't need to be taught that all naughty things are normal paths to good luck (Curious George).  Also, hard work does not need to look easy, with every project having a moral lesson attached to it, usually resembling the evil of making a buck (Bob the Builder).  Not to mention, purple singing dinosaurs should be handled by Toy Story's mean boy neighbor.

Bring us back violence.  Bring us back immoral capitalism.  Give us pictures of scantily clad rabbits and pigs with too much lipstick.  Give us the love of baseball as our national pastime in animation.  Give us evil, wicked magicians that get their due, even if a stupid carrot eating rabbit is morally worse.  Give us lithping big nosed, fat people shooting wabbits with indirect shots from an unsighted french revolutionary cap gun.  Bring us back cars that jump and cops that one day are on your side and the next are on the opposite side, working against your morals for the express reason of having a car chase at the end.  Bring us back excitement, geography, world history lessons - fun!

Kids need to escape the framed world of good and evil.  They need to empty their minds and enjoy themselves to enjoy themselves.  Sometimes, to stop thinking and get lost in a fantasy world is a good thing.

And...adults could learn to eat their vegetables.


  1. The analysis of the cartoons are all correct except, Bob the Builder. Every project does have a moral lesson but nothing about "the evil of making a buck". The lesson is, working together on a job.

  2. Don't forget Ghost Busters and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And playing Mario Bros on the Nintendo all day. Dukes of Hazard was tops!

    And, who said you turned our alright???

  3. My thumbs and eyeballs hurt just thinking of it.

  4. There are plenty such shows. Just need to know where to look. The ones related to the various Marvel or DC comics characters are a good place to start on good old fashioned violence.