Begin reading the series here. Or, go back to The Pedophile Begins to Groom.
My parents decided to leave ATI and the ITC in September 1995. We moved to West Baden Springs, Indiana and stayed there for a few months. My dad was constantly traveling to find a new position for himself so I erroneously thought the worst was over and he would leave me alone.
He received the opportunity to join with Jim Logan and Mark Bubeck and open a non-profit Biblical Counseling Center in Carmel, Indiana. He named it the International Center for Biblical Counseling of Indiana (ICBCI) and we moved to Carmel in December of 1995. We had a large house and I was given my own room since I still wasn’t allowed to even speak to my siblings without a parent present.
He began “grooming” me again a few months later. He used forbidden movies as one way to attract me. Nearly any movie was “bad” so the opportunity to get around my mom’s rules and watch PG-13 movies was too much for a 13 year-old. He would go out and rent movies like Terminator (my first R-rated movie), Grease, and the Highlander. He would come to my room after my mom was asleep and tell me to meet him in the basement because he had a special movie to watch with me. I’d go down to the basement and he’d have me cuddle up to him. This was the only “positive” attention I received, and I went gladly.
Eventually, he’d begin to move me closer and closer, rubbing my leg and moving his hand up my thigh. Eventually, he would start to play with my breasts and developed the courage to touch my vaginal area. He would ask me things like, “Does this feel good?” And would continue to rub and touch till I came to an orgasm. Then he would say, “Oh, that was nice! I’m so glad you did that for me. That was really special.” Then he’d feel guilty and force me to pray with him. He would “confess” his sin to God and ask forgiveness. Then he’d send me off to bed.
His prayers never seemed to work. Every night at two o’clock he would enter my bedroom. I would be wrapped in my blankets and I would fake sleeping hoping and praying he would go away. He never did. He would pull the blankets off me, remove my clothes, suck on my nipples, and stick his tongue down my ear. He never tried to force himself on me and never actually raped me, but by this point, it didn’t matter. The damage was done.
Read Part Seven - Pushed to Suicide.
*****
Because of my stealing and lying tendencies, my dad decided I shouldn’t even live with them anymore and while traveling on the weekends to different churches all over the country, began to ask people if they would give me a new home. He even told me he asked from the pulpit if anyone could take me in that didn’t have any children since I was dangerous to them. At one point, it almost became reality as I was sent to stay with another family as a “test trial” run. It didn’t work out.My parents decided to leave ATI and the ITC in September 1995. We moved to West Baden Springs, Indiana and stayed there for a few months. My dad was constantly traveling to find a new position for himself so I erroneously thought the worst was over and he would leave me alone.
He received the opportunity to join with Jim Logan and Mark Bubeck and open a non-profit Biblical Counseling Center in Carmel, Indiana. He named it the International Center for Biblical Counseling of Indiana (ICBCI) and we moved to Carmel in December of 1995. We had a large house and I was given my own room since I still wasn’t allowed to even speak to my siblings without a parent present.
He began “grooming” me again a few months later. He used forbidden movies as one way to attract me. Nearly any movie was “bad” so the opportunity to get around my mom’s rules and watch PG-13 movies was too much for a 13 year-old. He would go out and rent movies like Terminator (my first R-rated movie), Grease, and the Highlander. He would come to my room after my mom was asleep and tell me to meet him in the basement because he had a special movie to watch with me. I’d go down to the basement and he’d have me cuddle up to him. This was the only “positive” attention I received, and I went gladly.
Eventually, he’d begin to move me closer and closer, rubbing my leg and moving his hand up my thigh. Eventually, he would start to play with my breasts and developed the courage to touch my vaginal area. He would ask me things like, “Does this feel good?” And would continue to rub and touch till I came to an orgasm. Then he would say, “Oh, that was nice! I’m so glad you did that for me. That was really special.” Then he’d feel guilty and force me to pray with him. He would “confess” his sin to God and ask forgiveness. Then he’d send me off to bed.
His prayers never seemed to work. Every night at two o’clock he would enter my bedroom. I would be wrapped in my blankets and I would fake sleeping hoping and praying he would go away. He never did. He would pull the blankets off me, remove my clothes, suck on my nipples, and stick his tongue down my ear. He never tried to force himself on me and never actually raped me, but by this point, it didn’t matter. The damage was done.
Read Part Seven - Pushed to Suicide.
I am sick. No wonder I never saw you. I have no words for the seething anger and disgust I am experiencing! A.R.
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