Saturday, June 2, 2012

Fred Phelps Clan Caught in an Hypocritical Trap

Don't go to any of their websites.  Anything I cite, I'll print out here so they don't see a traffic bump and have an orgasm. 

On June 3, 2012, at 8:45 AM in the morning, the hateful Fred Phelps clan will be picketing the College Church of the Nazarene in Olathe, Kansas.  Why, you might ask?  Does this Olathe church preach that it's okay to be gay?  You would think so, with all the focus on Westboro Baptist Church's own addiction to gay sex.  They love it.  They have to print pictures on placards so they can look at it.  They show it to their children from the day they come out of the womb.  (Yeah...that was allegorical.  How would I know.  But, you can see plenty of pictures of their babies and little children on the curbs where they are protesting, to jump to that conclusion).

No.  Not because this church preaches love.  Not remotely.  In their own words, Westboro Baptist Church is picketing this church because:

"...[the church] tells the people that they have a free will to accept Jesus as their savior, thereby giving the power over salvation to the creature."

That's it.  Yep.  They are picketing this poor church because the people of WBC are strict neo-Calvanists!

But wait.  Something is wrong here.  If you watch this story of Lauren Drain
, daughter of Steve Drain, member of WBC, you'll see a curious contradiction at work. 

Lauren was excommunicated from the church and begged her parents to forgive her.  She said she would do anything to stay. (The reader might wonder why a grown woman would beg to stay in such filthy hatred and a commune environment that caused her to be ostracized by the most people that would otherwise want to love her.  I know this feeling.  When it is all you know, leaving it is very fearful - especially when you have been told that you will burn in hell if you do leave.) When the reporter asked Steve Drain about his daughter, Steve acted completely indifferent and actually mocked her on camera.  He said that they gave her over to Satan.

Then, on camera, Steve Drain tells Louis Theroux that the members of WBC are the only elect (chosen by god to be in heaven, granted salvation through no power of their own).  How does he know?  He answers that question with a question:

"Do you see anyone else obeying the commands of the Lord and doing what we do?"

The question was rhetorical and he knew it.  He followed it up with a "that's how we know" and a confident fist bump to his god - a figment of his imagination.

Um...Steve?  Are you saying that you are the elect because you obey the commands of the Lord?  Are you not picketing a church tomorrow because they make "the blood of Jesus to no effect (sorry..the Bible uses a lot of Yoda-speak...bear with me)" by "giving the power of salvation over to the creature"?  Didn't you say on camera that, should Lauren ever come back and prove that she is one of the elect, you would accept her as the elect?  Wouldn't she be proving that of her own power, making election a fancy and useless misnomer?  Are you not concluding that you are the elect because you are the only blokes on this evil planet doing what the Lord commanded, thereby putting the power of salvation back into the hands of the creature?

I wouldn't expect the people of WBC - especially Steve Drain, who barfs out words that make no sense, designs placards that are simply stupid and meaningless (like his "Bitch Burger" sign), and puts together videos of random cartoons and faces of people and imagery that make no sense, even when he tries to explain them - to think long enough to try and refute me.  They'll throw out something like "you reject the word of the Lord and you're going to hell!"  More than likely, they'll have one of their kids do the deed.  But, there you have it (as if you really needed a reason). 

You can now reject Westboro Baptist Church and all their members as hypocrites.  Vile ones at that.  But don't tell them that.  They'll throw it back in your face, pretending that it actually means something.  Just go about your merry way and feel smug.


  1. Bitch Burger... Klassy... I may have to work that into my litany of insults... you you..Klootzak Bitch Burger you!!

    We have had a few run ins with those stupidos. Once when we were trying to bury the soldier son of one of our members. Plans were put together and executed with CIA-level secrecy. It was insane! No one should have to go through that on top of the grief of losing a child.

  2. My brother is in the Patriot Guard in MN and they have rolled by the WBC protesters as well. As conservative as he is, he thinks these people are fruitcakes. I think they would love to roll their Harleys over them like road kill.

  3. Feels like all you can do is laugh at the adults and weep for the kids.

  4. Those adults were all once the kids. :(

  5. I especially liked your opening comment about giving them an orgasm when they see a traffic bump. Not to stoop to their level, but I bet that's the only orgasm most of them get LOL.