Begin reading the series here.
*****
Not surprisingly, my behavioral problems did NOT stop with my second adoption, but rather increased ten-fold. Both of my parents were extremely demanding and expected instantaneous, unquestioning, complete, obedience. For me, in particular, this type of exactness was a far cry from what I experienced in the Bible’s home. My parents believed the “rod” was the ONLY form of correction and they used it often throughout the day.
My first spanking I can remember was for dancing at age four. I wasn’t even dancing, per se, I was sitting on my knees and wiggling in time to music on the radio. My mom grabbed me and beat me for disobedience. I supposedly understood CLEARLY at age four that dancing was a forbidden, evil activity spawned from the depths of hell itself. I never danced again.
My parents decided I needed even MORE discipline in my life, so they gave my two older siblings age 9 and 7 full parental rights over me. This meant if they saw me doing anything or “disobeying” rules, they had the right – no, the obligation - to beat me, as well. And if THEY decided to beat me, they had to report to my parents so I could undergo a second parental beating as well. If my parents went out for the evening together, my sisters would conjure any reason to spank me and then my parents would return home late, yank me out of bed and sleep, to reinforce a nine-year-old’s call to spank. I do not blame my siblings for their behaviors as they too were simply following the rules and they would have faced the same discipline if they HADN’T followed through on my parent’s guidance. They are not responsible and once they reached an age where they realized they were wrong, they stopped their behavior and later apologized voluntarily to me.
My parent’s fully believed that spanking would fix any and all problems with me. As I grew older, the spankings became longer and more brutal. While they spanked each of my siblings, (eventually they had seven biological children) I underwent the worst and cruelest of them all. It was my father who decided bare-butt spankings was the most effective way to spank. He also began to pray before each spanking asking God to “give him strength.” My parents also believed spanking should continue INDEFINITELY until the child “cried softly” and the cry itself had “changed” to prove “brokenness of spirit and a genuine desire to repent.” This meant I was routinely given 30-50 swats. Sometimes, I was given two spankings back-to-back. The first spanking was for the infraction, the second spanking was to reiterate the fact I was NOT TO CRY LOUDLY and they would continue to the second spanking to make their point. On two separate occasions, my mom bloodied my mouth by striking me across the face mid-spanking to make me stop crying.
Read Part Three - Severe Homeschooling.
My first spanking I can remember was for dancing at age four. I wasn’t even dancing, per se, I was sitting on my knees and wiggling in time to music on the radio. My mom grabbed me and beat me for disobedience. I supposedly understood CLEARLY at age four that dancing was a forbidden, evil activity spawned from the depths of hell itself. I never danced again.
My parents decided I needed even MORE discipline in my life, so they gave my two older siblings age 9 and 7 full parental rights over me. This meant if they saw me doing anything or “disobeying” rules, they had the right – no, the obligation - to beat me, as well. And if THEY decided to beat me, they had to report to my parents so I could undergo a second parental beating as well. If my parents went out for the evening together, my sisters would conjure any reason to spank me and then my parents would return home late, yank me out of bed and sleep, to reinforce a nine-year-old’s call to spank. I do not blame my siblings for their behaviors as they too were simply following the rules and they would have faced the same discipline if they HADN’T followed through on my parent’s guidance. They are not responsible and once they reached an age where they realized they were wrong, they stopped their behavior and later apologized voluntarily to me.
My parent’s fully believed that spanking would fix any and all problems with me. As I grew older, the spankings became longer and more brutal. While they spanked each of my siblings, (eventually they had seven biological children) I underwent the worst and cruelest of them all. It was my father who decided bare-butt spankings was the most effective way to spank. He also began to pray before each spanking asking God to “give him strength.” My parents also believed spanking should continue INDEFINITELY until the child “cried softly” and the cry itself had “changed” to prove “brokenness of spirit and a genuine desire to repent.” This meant I was routinely given 30-50 swats. Sometimes, I was given two spankings back-to-back. The first spanking was for the infraction, the second spanking was to reiterate the fact I was NOT TO CRY LOUDLY and they would continue to the second spanking to make their point. On two separate occasions, my mom bloodied my mouth by striking me across the face mid-spanking to make me stop crying.
Read Part Three - Severe Homeschooling.
My heart is seething with rage already. >=[
ReplyDeleteI am disgusted.
ReplyDeleteOh, so that's where my parents got their ideas on spankings. This basically describes how I was spanked growing up as well.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, Becca. :'(
ReplyDeleteI don't want to start a spank or not spank debate, but Becca, what you and I experienced was not "spanking", at least not in the way most people think when they hear "spank." We were beaten. I only use the word "spank" in my story to draw attention to how terminology changes perspectives. For example, if someone had approached my dad and said, "Do you beat your kids?" He would say, "No, we spank." The 'standard' reply would've been, "Oh, that's different then. That's Biblical." Becca, I'm so sorry!
ReplyDeleteMy heart cries for you Ruth, I'm so angry you were treated this way by someone who should have loved you and cherished you. I hope she receives some severe consequences. Thanks for having the courage to share your story and bring these abusers to light. She is a disgrace to the name of Christ.
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder, with these directives, that some children are beaten to death; some may not be able to stop crying loudly until the spanking kills them. It's truly horrible that your adoptive parents risked your life like that.
ReplyDelete