Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I Hate Cats With a Passion

Growing up with six siblings, we had a cat once.  Her name was Cleo Jane.  Mama told me millions of times during my formative years that she had to get rid of the cat because all of us loved to carry it around by the tail and it just wasn't built for that.  I'm sure it hurt the good feline judging by pictures of her with her new owners.  A Siberian Tiger was smaller than she was, fully grown.

But that wasn't Mama's real reason.  I know that because I am just like her.  She hated the smell of cat.  Everything about it.  The litter, the way the coat smells, everything.  In fact, Mama gave Cleo Jane a bath twice a day.  That cat became so used to water that she would jump into the tub and stare up at you with a pleading look on her face, begging for a scrub.  But, being that Mama was a single mother with seven children under seven years old, with a cat that she felt needed to be cleaner than Queen Elizabeth II's wine glass, the work was just too much and we gave the cat away.

Kristine, my wife, had grown up on a farm where owning a cat was like brushing your teeth in the morning - a bygone conclusion.  After ten years of marriage, we had tried a few times, but I always struck out with my keen sense of smell.  I didn't like the litter and I could smell it from the street.  I also didn't like cats crawling all over me.  So, we tried and failed.

Until a few weeks ago.

I arrived home to two litter-trained kittens.  Kristine and Renaya (10) both assured me that I would never have to clean the litter box or feed the cats.  For the most part, they have stuck to the deal though the first week was really hard on me.  But, I'm one out of eight and I am seriously outvoted, which is good, because the entertainment is now priceless.

The other night, I was sitting on the couch, doing computer-y stuff, minding my own business, when I felt Scratchy (yes, I named them Itchy and Scratchy) jump up on the back of the couch.  I hear him purring loudly and look behind me, right into his face.  He's staring at me inquisitively.  I turned away.  Then, I felt his sandpaper tongue start licking my neck.  He did that for about ten minutes, then settled down and fell asleep. 

Analisse (2) carries a cat around, hugging it's neck, with the body of the cat swinging back and forth below her folded arms.  They love her to death.

Then, this morning, Felicity (5) burst into the dining room yelling, "Mommy!  Mommy!  Look at this squeaky toy!"  Kristine turned around and saw that she was holding Tom (Itchy...yes, their real names are Tom and Jerry).  Then, Felicity laid Itchy on his back and with both hands, pushed down on his belly and chest.  Sure enough, Tom squeaked like a squeaky toy.

Yep.  I think the cats are growing on me.


  1. We have a 15yr old calico cat who's bigger than our 11 lb terrier. She's friendly if she wants to be but adores my 2 children. Her name is squeaky. She squeaked when we got her, a tiny ball of fur. She has been a constant in our lives. I haven't known a house without a cat in over 40 years.

    They always latch on to the one person in the house who doesn't like them. We had a yellow tabby who adored my dad. When they would watch him when we went away, the cat would sit in my dad's lap and watch tv. When they ate dinner, he'd lay across his feet. He got to like that cat.

  2. I found my kitten on the side of the road when he was about 6 weeks old and probably weighed about that many ounces. He was all skin and bones. Now he is a huge sleek 15lb cat and the best pet I have ever owned. After putting the kids to bed, it is so relaxing to have him curl up beside me while I read a book or watch tv. Someday I will probably end up being one of those crazy cat ladies!

  3. Cheryl Chamberlain DuweJune 6, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    I'm a cat tolerater on the best days, but yours sound pretty cute.

  4. I'm The Crazy Cat Lady. I have 3 cats (and a dog) and am thinking I need (NEED) a kitten. My biological clock is one of those Sylvester ones, I think. Cats just rule, and kittens are so fun. Enjoy yours!

  5. Paula G V aka YukimiJune 6, 2012 at 10:48 PM

    We adopted a cat 3 years ago but our flatmate left the balcony of our 4th floor (5th floor by american nomenclature) open and let's just say we ended up having to put her to sleep when we got her to the vet.

    Not a week after that we were offered by some old ladies on the neighbourhood, who had helped looked for our cat when she'd fallen, a lil' kitten that had been badly hurt I don't know if before or after being taken to a shelter. She had a big injury on a paw that required surgery, a big scratch in an eye that left a scar and a big bump on the head. We took her in and even 'though she has a pretty big distrust of humans who aren't us comparatively with the other cat (who also was so tame that I could take him like a parrot on my shoulder on the street and she wouldn't try to escape) but she never has enough petting when she is comfortable. Curiously except for a black speck on her nose she is pretty similar to our other cat (both black and white mainly).

    We are seriously thinking of neutering our cat because when she is in heat, she is a pain in the ass and the neighbours might complain but we aren't very worried about ehr gaining weight because she is pretty fit and we give her all the training she needs (she loves playing hide and seek XP).

  6. Lol I really, really hate cats. We had some people dump some kittens here and I promptly stuck them in a box as soon as I could find them all, and took them to the animal shelter. If someone had dumped a puppy we'd probably still have it. Ha.

  7. Resistance is futile :)

    Signed, the actual crazy cat lady. I have six.