Read Part 5 - The Great Deceiver: Enter Stage Right - Dr. Ken Copley
I recall our first counseling session. I was in an oppression that had lasted for at least a week. This would happen a lot when I got stuck in a memory. Dr. Ken Copley asked me if I knew what helped me when I went through these oppressions.
I said, "Waiting for The Lord and quoting scripture."
Then, I said, "what I really want is to crawl up in your lap and let The Lord hold me, I feel that would help my little ones."
I said this nonchalantly, not thinking he would hold me.
He looked at me and said, "Okay."
I said, "What? Really?"
My little ones inside were jumping for joy, but I felt really uncomfortable. I followed the desires of the little ones and we sat in his lap and the oppression lifted immediately. I felt warm and soft inside. Immediately I felt so bonded to this man and I no longer saw him clearly. My little ones were driving the bus of my life and this was dangerous.
[I interject here to say that I don't really know what the author is meaning by "little ones". Feelings? Sexual feelings? I'm not sure.
I. C.]
At first, Dr. Copley kept things at a daddy/daughter level, he would hold me and rock me and I would cry through my childhood memories and he would pray over me and ask God to bring truth to the lies. He would say, others would not understand our relationship and we had to be careful what we share with others. Over the 2 years with Dr. Copley, he removed many people from my life.
Continue to Part 7 - The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Begins the Sexual Grooming
I recall our first counseling session. I was in an oppression that had lasted for at least a week. This would happen a lot when I got stuck in a memory. Dr. Ken Copley asked me if I knew what helped me when I went through these oppressions.
I said, "Waiting for The Lord and quoting scripture."
Then, I said, "what I really want is to crawl up in your lap and let The Lord hold me, I feel that would help my little ones."
I said this nonchalantly, not thinking he would hold me.
He looked at me and said, "Okay."
I said, "What? Really?"
My little ones inside were jumping for joy, but I felt really uncomfortable. I followed the desires of the little ones and we sat in his lap and the oppression lifted immediately. I felt warm and soft inside. Immediately I felt so bonded to this man and I no longer saw him clearly. My little ones were driving the bus of my life and this was dangerous.
[I interject here to say that I don't really know what the author is meaning by "little ones". Feelings? Sexual feelings? I'm not sure.
I. C.]
At first, Dr. Copley kept things at a daddy/daughter level, he would hold me and rock me and I would cry through my childhood memories and he would pray over me and ask God to bring truth to the lies. He would say, others would not understand our relationship and we had to be careful what we share with others. Over the 2 years with Dr. Copley, he removed many people from my life.
Continue to Part 7 - The Great Deceiver: Dr. Kenneth Copley Begins the Sexual Grooming
Pretty sure "little ones" refers to dissociative something-or-other (don't know the exact term, sorry!), also known as multiple personalities. I have a friend with this - one personality might be a 5yo child (especially if that's when some horrible abuse started), another might be around 12, another might be 15 & extremely depressed/suicidal, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a psychologist/psychiatrist but the term "little ones inside" makes me think she's referring to multiple personalities.
HOW DESPICABLE for Dr. Copley to take advantage of someone who was in SO MUCH PAIN. >:(
IC, I would guess that your author is talking about her "inner child" or, if there was a dissociative or schizophrenic aspect to her situation, "inner children." In analytical psychology, the "inner child" is a person's original self, which encompasses everything that a person knows, believes, and learns before the onset of puberty. If a person is abused, injured, or in some other way traumatized, this part of the person can be suppressed, and the person may find themselves struggling with inexplicable negative emotions --- emotions that were suppressed because they were dangerous or forbidden at the time they were originally triggered. Wikipedia has a pretty good explanation of the concept: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inner_child
ReplyDeleteI believe the author is referring to her inner child(ren?) as 'little one(s)'. If the author has a dissociative identity disorder, it is possible she experiences her inner child as an entirely separate entity or entities from herself.
ReplyDeleteAll of us have an inner child. Many of us are able to integrate that aspect of our personality with our identity, but many people are not, for various reasons. I am not a psychologist, but it seems to be pretty common for people who have survived childhood sexual abuse to disassociate with their inner child in that way.
I have those too. I just call them "the littles". Mine are not really other personalities but just parts of me that seem to dominate in certain situations, but my core personality always remains aware if not always in control.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for this woman. I hope she is finding healing with a counselor who is reputable.