Women and Pants - Still a Discussion

The other day, I wrote a simple blog post about a friend's Facebook status, wherein she glowingly crowed about her finally being able to fit into some jeans that she loved.  Within that status, she mentioned that she was wearing those pants to church.

I read it and was happy for her.  Then I penned my thoughts in the blog post, Women Wearing Pants to Church.  As I noted above, it was simple.  A realization that something I had forgotten was even an issue in my past life, was actually so pointless to be arguing over, that even fundamentalists, in the circles I hung and hang with, were beginning to draw back on the whole idea.

But are they all?  I don't think so.

That blog post went viral, for Incongruous Circumspection standards.  Thousands of hits in a week.  Not many of my writings reach this status.  So it made me wonder why it was such a popular piece.

I really have no answers, except to assume that women, in many areas of Christianity, are still being told what they can and cannot do, according to pre-set, artificial rules of femininity.  Sure, in fundamentalist circles, the men are also expected to wear a suit and tie, but those expectations don't even come close to measuring up to the heavy-handed requirements for women to be "real ladies".

I know.  I experienced it.  Once, as a fundamentalist Sunday School teacher, I wore a pair of jeans, a turtle-neck sweater, and a tie to church.  I did it to make a statement.  No philosophical statement, per se.  Just a "this is who I am, and you're going to LOVE me!" kind of message.  I was called out from the pulpit with a "that's awesome brother!" slap on the back, the whole congregation laughed, and I was left feeling very loved and accepted.

Later, I was caught in a room with all the men of the church and the conversation went the way of how a woman should dress.  Words like "whore" and "slut" were bandied about when anything but a skirt, jumper, or dress was said to have been worn.  Yes.  From the mouths of purported Christians.

I understand.  Women, in many circles of Christianity, are treated as second class citizens, protecting the sexual drives of men, who are much too weak, having no ability to exercise self-control over their hand grabbing of her breasts - just because she wore jeans to church.  I get it.

Women Wearing Pants to Church

Christian Fundamentalism makes great hay about modesty.  About being a feminine woman.  There is no better way to display this femininity than when all "like-minded" individuals are gathered in the same place - namely church.

Femininity, in fundamentalist and patriarchal (even bled over to areas of mainstream or evangelical Christianity) is no better displayed than by the wearing of dresses, jumpers, or skirts.  Pants are frowned upon on a woman.  And if you happen to be the lucky girl not confronted by a busy-body, nose-in-everyone's business, old lady guru, you will discover the pleasure of being talked about behind your back, or even worse, become the subject of a sermon.

Don't worry.  Most preachers don't name names.  But you KNOW they're talking about you, you heathen.

During my formative years, many a theological discussion, centered around pants on women, cropped up in the circles of young men.  Dads preached the necessity of looking like a lady.  Curriculum for Sunday School, as well as extracurricular classes run by women, noted the virtues of the pant-less society of femininity.

For whatever reason, the theology began to change a bit.  We started to discuss that God actually knew the heart and pants didn't matter all that much. Maybe people were getting picked on in public and it became imperative.  Maybe cloth was too expensive.  Maybe fewer godly daughters picked up sewing.  Maybe they all wanted to look a bit more attractive, seeing the frumpy jumpered females not getting married and living at home into their forties.

Then I left and the whole subject bored me to death.

...until today.

I was browsing Facebook and saw a friend's status, excited about wearing her favorite jeans to church today.  Why?  Because she finally reduced her post-baby bod down to the size of the pant hips and could rock the pants again.

YES! YES!  YES!

THAT is the REAL parameters of the discussion of pants on women.  Do they look good on you?  Yes?

Then rock 'em.

An Ode to My Sisters

This post got me thinking...

When I was 7 years old, my single mother went to a Bill Gothard Basic Seminar and ate up every word.  Not only did she swallow every man principle he spewed forth, she also fell in love with the man.  Romantically.

This meant that, like how a fundie says, "If the KJV says jump, then jump....only afterward do you pray and ask God if you jumped high enough", she felt the same way about the G-man.

We began to dress like Bill wanted us to.  For the boys, it wasn't so bad.  It essentially meant that we couldn't wear shorts (which was only sparsely enforced due to the need to have gym clothes in high school), T-shirts alone, and shirts not buttoned to the top.  Even one button was slightly scandalous, though we did it anyway.

We were very poor because Bill wouldn't allow my mother to go out and get a job.  He said that it was the woman's place to stay at home.  Thus, we lived off of welfare and handouts throughout my entire childhood.  This meant we shopped at all the local thrift stores and wore the last decade's clothes.

When everyone was wearing tight jeans in the 90's, we were wearing their old bell-bottomed corduroys.  When the Air Jordan's came out with those cool full-width see-through air pockets, we were wearing flat-bottomed FILA's, given to us by the professional tennis player, David Wheaton.  He must have needed to clear out his old dusty inventory.  The bell bottoms weren't so bad because we could pin them tight around our ankles.  If you were creative enough, nobody would be the wiser.

It was different for my sisters.

Modesty for them was the boring old jumper.  Sometimes it was denim.  Other times, it was a print with huge flowers.  If it wasn't a jumper, it was the dreaded coolots.  Or, the skirt that had so much material in it, you could make curtains for three large windows.  Some of them may have been curtains at one time. 

My sisters' clothing was out of style before they ever bought them (or were given them...most likely people throwing away their ancient closet stuffers).  They were washed so often, all the material was severely threadbare.  The hems were shaggy with white strings dripping off of them like icicles.  In a Minnesota winter, being forced to wear a skirt was torture.  They could not wear snow pants so went with leg warmers.  That brought the house down with laughter.  People hadn't worn leg warmers for centuries.

While in school, I knew my sister's were coming around without having to see them.  All you had to do was listen for the "swoosh swish" of their skirts and you knew.  They even wore them for gym clothes.  My mother petitioned the gym teachers to allow a religious exception for my sisters to wear skirts while me and the other boys got to wear the correct wardrobe.

From what I remember, my sisters were so picked on that they hated school.  They were always hanging their heads when passing students in the halls.  They had very few friends.  Those they did have were foreign and could hardly speak English, and barely knew the latest styles.  They suffered much.

I've never put myself in their shoes to understand what they went through.

Now, after reading Darcy's post, I think I know.

I am so sorry.