Thursday, October 24, 2013

Nancy Campbell Really Doesn't Have a Clue How Normal Society Functions

In the October 2013 issue of "Above Rubies," Nancy Campbell's magazine to "...encourage women in their high calling as wives, mothers, and homemakers," Nancy reveals that she really doesn't know how normal society - read: the rest of us - interact with each other.

It's quite obvious that she thinks we're all selfish nincompoops, disregarding family, hating children, and sitting around in front of television screens, watching pornography. If this describes you, then Campbell is correct. But I'll gander a guess that, while partaking in any one of the above activities I listed doesn't make you a naughty person at all, you don't live your life by every one of the above definitions all the time.

Nancy introduces this month's issue by talking about her gardening and how big her farm is. She lets the readers know that there are always children on her property. She's a grandmother, after all, with a lot of grandkids. But, as you read, you begin to get the innate sense that Nancy Campbell is talking down to the rest of humanity:
It is amazing that you can have so many young people come together without sending out invitations... We constantly enjoy celebrations and gatherings at our home. No need for organization. Just call the families and we have a huge crowd with loads of fun, antics, and fellowship.
While, to the untrained eye, one not well-versed in the language of a fundamentalist us vs. them superiority complex, this may look like normal conversation, a woman glowing about how great her life is - like a Facebook status. But it isn't. With fundamentalists, it never is.

See, Nancy thinks we don't know families with kids. She thinks that in order for us to have a house full of people, we need to send out invitations months ahead of time, order the inflatable jumping houses, buy oodles of pre-prepared foods from the deli, notify the city of the need for additional parking permits for the non-parking zone, and square off an area of the property for the kids, to rid us adults of their snot-nosed peskishness.

Also, we don't talk. We must just sit around on our phones, ignoring one another, with nothing better to do than write stupid and pointless blog posts like this one.

So, to all my friends that come to my house, to all my neighbors that eat all of my food, drink all of my beer, use all of my diapers, flush all of my toilets, use up all of my lawnmower gas, and make sure your methamphetamine customers don't walk on my lawn. To all of my enemies that still come around. To all of my kids that have birthday parties with adults and sometimes just kids - disorganized for adults, yet a blast for the kids. Yes, to all of you.

I'm sorry for being such a prudish bore.


  1. I went to a Vision Forum home church for three months and attended some of their events. The parties were actually a lot of fun, especially when the talented young people entertained us with skits and musical performances. My favorite event was Liberty Day, when the entire home church re-enacted Patrick Henry's Give me Liberty or Give me Death speech. (Now that they have made Liberty Day into a commercial venture where you have to pay an admission fee, it is probably less fun).

    But I soon realized that fun was confined to narrow limits determined by the home church (male) leaders. Making costumes, participating in Victorian re-enactments, and playing softball with other church families was considered acceptable. But organized youth sports were not acceptable. Nor was it acceptable to read the Rings trilogy or the Narnia chronicles. But in Douglas Wilson's church in Moscow, Idaho reading the Rings trilogy and Narnia chronicles was almost required because Pastor Wilson likes these books while the home church "pastor" does not.

    1. Thanks for reading, Anonymous! Love your perspective. I know those ideas all too well from my fundamentalist upbringing.

      I have written a few posts on Doug Wilson. Below are the links:

  2. I enjoyed your irreverent post about Pastor Wilson needing a blowjob. I met him once briefly. and did not talk with him long enough to form an impression aside from the fact that he is really tall and broad-shouldered. But I have read many of his books, and it took me a long time to discern his arrogant tone and harsh judgement of people who disagree with him.

  3. Wait, how is calling up other families not considered an invitation? In my youth, we had neighborhood kids who would just drop by each other's houses (and sometimes stay for dinner) without any sort of invitation, but that's not what she's describing. Color me puzzled...

  4. Or in our case, don't flush the toilet.