Wednesday, September 25, 2013

How did I get so lucky? - My Drinking Problem

I like beer.  I love to smile, laugh, giggle, whatever comes to my face and out my lips, whenever I am handed a drink.  A few down and all my secrets are then in the hands of those that are handling me.

Last night, I lost a bet.  In lieu of money, I was told that I had to drink a shot of something.  So Kristine, my bride, and a dear friend, mixed up eight different liquors and I poured pretty much six shots worth down my well-soothed esophagus.

Then they began the tape rolling.  They made me tell them Bible stories (to be sure, Bible stories are much more interesting after a few ounces of liquor), asked me to sing (which I thoroughly refused to do), and made me make a fool of myself - much to their delight.  

It wasn't long before my stomach decided to betray me and I found myself leaning over the toilet (which really needs to be cleaned...nobody wants to lean over a toilet that isn't cleaned), which I absolutely hate.  Nothing happened and I went to sleep straight away, remembering nothing more from the evening.  I have no idea how I made it to my bed.

Waking up at 7:41 AM, I felt refreshed - like a new man.  No hangover.  Nothing.  I don't get them.  I also had no desire to drink again.  Not that I won't, it's just that I don't "need" it.

How did I get so lucky?

I don't get hangovers.  I've been smashed about a dozen times in my 33 years, mostly after awesome social occasions, and yet I walk away, remembering the festive evening, and go about my merry life.  I don't crave liquor, though I do like a good tasting beer.  I don't desire the feeling of getting drunk, though it is entertaining to those around me, especially my kids.  In short, I can drink with no regrets and walk away without an addiction problem.

It's fun to tell people this, because they hate me for my lack of hangovers and it's kind of a status symbol.  But it also makes me see more clearly, how others aren't as lucky as I am.  Some people can't drink and walk away.  Some people so desire the feeling of getting drunk that they have to keep doing it, repeatedly, even though they have the pain of a hangover in the morning, their addiction being more important than comfort.  For some people, it kills them financially, ruins families, friendships, makes enemies, and otherwise destroys lives.

How did I get so lucky to be able to enjoy some fun and then move on when others can't?  I don't know the answer to this.  It's not like I have a will of steel, disallowing me to feed an addiction.  In other areas of my life (yelling about the house not being cleaned), I have a true addiction that keeps rearing it's ugly head.  I know my triggers and yet I stroll right into them - every single time.  I want to change and I make small strides toward that end, at times, but I'm never free.

So I understand.  And I have no answers.  I won't judge you.  We are all struggling with something that we are actively working to change about ourselves - or maybe not.  Even so, I won't judge you.

That being said, I won't be making any more bets in the near future.  Tonight, I'll enjoy a nice Schell's Dark.

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