Wednesday, September 18, 2013

JimBob Duggar Thinks Intense Monitoring of Lovers Guarantees Perfect Matches

Jessa Duggar and Ben Seewald (Facebook)
The world is abuzz with the news that Jessa Duggar is "courting" her parent-approved beau, Ben Seewald.  She's following the unwritten and copiously written rules of courting to a proverbial 'T'.

Sure, they are touching in this photograph, a much talked about indiscretion in the Bill Gothard and Doug Phillips/Vision Forum circles.  But, no matter.  The parents have nothing to worry about!  This chap is golden!

(Here is where you imagine me do a Sarah Palin style wink.  I close my left eye, lifting that corner of my mouth nearly up to the level of the most southern point of my nose, revealing my perfectly coffee-stained teeth, finishing the effect off with a click of my tongue, abstaining from shooting my pistol finger - I mean...I'm NOT a product of the 80's...oh wait...)

No, you read that correctly.  The ever-smiling Jim Bob Duggar is confident in this perfect gentleman he has found for his daughter.  The usual family settings being the only interaction allowed.  The family doting on the couple, already marrying them off before they really know each other.  The smiling faces.  The awkward "30 second or less" side hugs.

And then, there's the electronic spying.  

See, Ben and Jessa like to text.  That's what young kids do these days.  But Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar can't have that happening under there noses.  No, that would be like having private conversations!  And that cannot be allowed!  

Thus, Ben and Jessa text back and forth on their parents' phones.

According to Michelle:
It has been fun to watch them and both of our phones are going off back and forth, ping, ping, ping. It has been interesting to watch their interactions because for her personality type, they share very similar beliefs.
Oh yes, Michelle.  You get to see their most intimate and private conversations right there on your phone.  They hold nothing back.  Everything they ever wanted to say to each other, everything they really are, their deepest darkest secrets, their true beliefs, their burning doubts, their independent from their parents' wishes hearts, yes...everything that you ever wanted to know, those kids are laying it all out before you.

Jim Bob is also completely oblivious to how young lads and lasses know to keep things inside or pretend to be who they aren't, knowing exactly what to say to impress an adult:
When a guy is pursing your daughter, you want to check him out and see if there are any red flags and with Ben, there hasn't been. He is very sharp. It appears like a match made in heaven.
Yes, Jim Bob and Michelle.  Of course it appears like a match made in heaven!  Your carefully controlled children know exactly what you want to hear.  One day, you'll realize that human beings are independent thinkers and have separate dreams, goals, and yes, even beliefs.  Maybe not with these two - but I guarantee you, as many children as you have, you WILL experience a shock one day.

Count on it.


  1. Wait..? Isn't this girl 20? Jim Bob has to be hearing how ridiculous all this is. This news has gone national. What if things don't work out? Heard this young dude is just 18. Awh the perfect age to be brainwashed by Jim Bob Duggar.

  2. I have a bad feeling about this. Two adults having a "courtship" under the spying eyes of the woman's parents is not an auspicious start.

  3. Ha, poor them. My dad wanted this and my brothers and I will not have it, despite great amounts of pressure and spiritual threats. As a rebellious, lost woman, I believe that I know best who I want to love. Silly(deliriously happy!) me.