I, the author of this Common Man Critique of KDWB’s 2012Jingle Ball, arrived at the St. Paul, MN Excel Energy Center about 30 minutes
before the concert was supposed to start.
I was with my wife, Kristine, who had purchased the tickets months in advance. She was there for one reason, and one reason
only – to see the love of her life, Train.
This was the first pop/rock concert of my life, at the ripe
old age of 32 and I had no idea what to expect.
I would soon be both disappointed and dazzled at the same time.
Arriving at our seats, the arena was full of smoke. Obviously for effect at one point or
another. We had missed the pre-party and
were just in time for some lovely ladies in Mrs. Clause lingerie to start
tearing it up on the stage. After they
were done singing whatever they were singing (who cares…they looked wonderful),
dance troops jumped all over the stage to random drum beats and electronic
reverberations.
These ladies and gentleman danced it up while one
male dancer in a horizontally wide-striped shirt, seeming entirely disconnected
from every ligament on his thin frame, made everyone else look like
amateurs. I watched in awe, and then was
irritated when some local fare came out on stage and started yelling into the
microphone, trying as hard as she could to get the crowd excited with what she
was….singing?
We all collectively yawned and waited for a little known (to
me anyway) gentleman, Conor Maynard to pop out on stage.
Yes. Conor
Maynard. The young mini-heartthrob from
Britain – Ne Yo’s protégé. When he was
announced, the girls sort of went wild. Not much enthusiasm for a guy they
really didn’t know. Conor pranced around
the stage, singing his few popular songs, looking more like a puppet on
strings. At points during his set, you
could see his brain think, “Oh! I need
to jump!” And he would.
The crowd yawned again until he began to sing “Turn
Around”. Then they half sang, half
Twittered, waiting for Ed Sheeran.
Which brings me to a funny truth from Jingle Ball. Whenever KDWB, the hosts, decided the crowd
was too lethargic, they would yell, “Who’s here for Ed Sheeran!!!!???” The scream from all the tweens caused you to
go deaf immediately. The hosts ate it up
and used the line the rest of the show.
Conor Maynard left the stage and nobody noticed.
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