2012 KDWB's Jingle Ball - The Common Man's Critique: Cher Lloyd

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A lovely young lady walked onto the stage, wearing a very sexy short blue skirt, and some seriously shiny black leather, high heeled boots.  She looked nervous but pushed through it to yell out the lyrics of “Swagger Jagger”.  The tune was eerily similar to a kids lullaby.  The crowd tried hard to sing the lyrics, but it was obvious the song’s popularity in Ireland and Britain hadn’t reached our merry shores.

Cher Lloyd didn’t care.  She walked up and down the stage, back and forth, back and forth, every once in a while, rubbing the top of her legs and teasing you by pulling up on the hem of the short skirt.  She was showing off what was currently selling records for her – sex appeal, bright youth, and easy tuned lyrics.  She’ll be a flash in the pan, but sell a lot of posters of herself in the meantime.  When she’d get to the middle of the stage, she would stop and begin to stutter sway like a thin twig in the breeze, side to side, to the beat of the music.  She had good rhythm and sweet waves to rabid fans.

Unlike other artists, Lloyd made a point to introduce the title of every one of her songs.  Whenever she did, ten twelve year olds would scream as if on cue.  But that small group loved her.  By the time she reached her most recently popular song, “I Want U Back”, my ears were irritated by the similar beats, music, voice, and boring prance moves.  But!  She did have the crowd waving their hands.

Ah.  I Want U Back.  Yes, she was so excited to sing this song.  As she introduced it and the music started, she became as excited as the little group of tweens that were screaming.  But, the grunts throughout the song were recorded – making them sound fake and cheapening the next part of the song, not to mention her moves whenever “UH!” happened.

True to cuteness factor form, she sweetly thanked the crowd for having her and walked off the stage while the last notes of “I Want U Back” were finishing.  Not just notes…stanzas.  The imagery was ironic.  I don’t expect to see her on stage again.

The Excel Energy Center was about to be rocked.  The crowd had no idea what was about to hit it.

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