Thursday, November 21, 2013

What My Kids Want for Christmas

I took my bride on a date and came up with a few Christmas present ideas for our six squirts. But our minds drew blanks as we stared into each others eyes, degrading into passionate kissing in the booth. Hey! We got a free drink out of the deal!

So, tonight, with Kristine on a plane back from The Big Easy, I plied the kids with hot chocolate and then begged them to tell me what they wanted for Christmas. Here was their list:

Renaya (11):

  • A phone
  • Wii Go Vacation game
  • A gun (she wants to go hunting with her best friend)
  • No clothes...except for maybe jeans (she was VERY adamant about this)
  • Walkie Talkies for her and her best friend (this is her second choice, if she doesn't get a phone)
  • A baby alligator (her mommy went to New Orleans and posed with one in the swamps...not sure what she'll do when the bloody thing grows up)
  • Modeling clay (and possibly a kiln)

Laura (10):
  • A gun
  • Barbies (when I told her she had hundreds (the kids use them as bath toys), she switched this to clothes for Barbies)
  •  Jeans
  • A Kindle (originally, she wanted a Nook, but they serve Starbucks at Barnes and Nobles, the original owner of the brand, and David Barton says that drinking Starbucks is treasonous to America, so I was forced to steer her clear of anything connected to them)
  • A wristwatch
  • Modeling clay

Fred (8):
  • A gun
  • Authentic army clothes and gear (including a real knife, Nerf guns (not sure why the knife is real but not the guns), a hat, a jacket, shirt, pants, socks, and boots. He was very careful to list everything.)
  • iPad

 Felicity (6):
  • Backpack
  • Bubble gum
  • Shirt with a cat on it (pointing to her chest)
  • Dance lessons (with a microphone so she can practice)
  • Face painting set

Jack (4):
  • A race car set
Then Jack stared straight ahead and began to cry. I asked him what was wrong and he wailed:
 I don't know anything eeeeeelse!

Analisse (3):
  • A present
  • iPad

I'll also try and give them a better dad.


  1. This is very cute. I've got six too, 13,12,9,8,6,&5.

    We just did the Christmas list thing, too. 8 year old wants a "sleeping hat". I told him it wasn't the 1800s.

    1. Ah yes, I was always jealous of Horace in Dr. Quinn, with his sleeping hat. I love hats.

  2. o.O
    You'll go broke with that list!